I stared at the invite for a very long time.

I was snuggled in bed. I had a book right next to me that I had every intention of reading but for the phone in my hand.

The week had been very difficult, and I really didn’t think I had the energy for a house party.

But my therapist’s words echoed through my head:

“Even if you don’t think you have the energy, you need to go out and be with your friends. Get your body moving. Socialize. You’ll feel better when you get back into bed.”

I sighed, then summoned the inertia to throw my blanket off and put some pants on.

~

I really did not have the energy to go to this house party.

I was out on the porch, alone. Laughter and bassy beats emanated from within. I was sensory overloaded, getting a headache, and the red plastic cup of water and ibuprofen wasn’t helping much.

The door opened, and then closed again, bringing the sounds of the party with it. My friend who invited me to the party stepped outside.

“Hey, Robin,” she said.

“Hey, Katarina.”

“Damn,” she laughed. “You must be really out of it if you’re using my whole-ass first name. You sound like my mother.”

“I’m sorry. It’s getting to be a little much. I think I might have to call it pretty soon.”

“You wanna come with me and, uh…” she pointed at the crystal around her neck and winked. I knew what she meant.

“That sounds lovely, Kat, but it’s really loud in there.”

“No, we’ll do it out here.”

“Out here? In the dark? It’s 35 degrees!”

“Here.” She slipped the door back open a little and flipped a switch, then closed it back. The porch light came on. She then took off her jacket and slung it around me. It was warm.

She beamed confidently.

“Thanks,” I said, earnestly. “But aren’t you cold?”

“I will be!” she said. “So let’s not waste any more time.”

She wrapped her arm around me in a side hug, took her crystal off, and started to dangle it just above my eyes.

“We’ve done this plenty of times before,” she said softly, shifting her tone of voice. “You can tune out the party. It’s not important. All you have to do is focus on me, just like you’ve always done… Such a good subject for me…”

My eyes started to flutter. My thoughts started to drift.

“Mmm…” I sighed. “I needed this, Kat…”

“I know,” she whispered. “I know… just give into it, and sleep.”

I felt her guide my body down as we huddled on the porch together, and I fell into a deep hypnotic slumber.