Circuit Breaker

REBIRTH天の, C3L3STIAL. (Page Seventeen)

by CyanidePrincess

Tags: #cw:gore #bondage #f/f #pov:bottom #scifi #sub:female #alien_invasion #bisexual_lead #dom:female #drug_play #Human_Domestication_Guide #mind_control #petplay #robots #sadomasochism #slow_burn #trans_egg #transgender_characters
See spoiler tags : #cw:protagonist_death
(Some Content Warning tags are spoilered. Click to show them) #cw:protagonist_death

Grief. Small amounts of violence. Sadness. And some lewd. 

It's been about seven hours since I woke up on this bed with Aether, and not once again since the moment I looked at my hands have I ever taken my eyes off of her.
 
Every few minutes, my consciousness is slowly pulled down into a memory. Many memories. Ones of Mistress and I in a coffee shop, meeting her again just after my wardship. Aether and I, she's teaching me to make biomods and I'm working on making one for an injured Terran. Mistress and I again lying together on some bed while I cry and tell her how lonely I am. She just holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay. And I truly believe her. I still do.
 
Another wave washes over me, pulling me down into another warm memory, full of happy dates and wonderful times together. Though they do all come to an end eventually, I soak up every second of each of them as though it will be my last. Helpless against the waving tide of warm memory. Swept under the current again.
 
Finally, Aether and I in her workshop. We're on the floor and she told me to be a good girl. Just how different and right it felt when she said it still thrums happy little electrical jolts in my fingertips. My burning adoration for Aether and Mistress only seems to grow and grow.
With time I come to realize just how much of my life, my new existence, I owe to Her.
The fire of war inside of me has been so thoroughly put out, it almost makes me feel cold. Almost. But there is a new fire now. One that burns thousands and thousands of times hotter. A burning cascade of loyalty and adoration. A religious fervor of servitude, submission, loyalty, and above everything else, a nearly drowning feeling of love.
 
I realize, under each old memory that holds my hand and shows me the truth of Her kindness once more, just what I owe to Her. Not just this new body that She’s built for me, not just my happiness and my salvation from hell. But my entire existence in and of itself. She is the reason I am alive at all in this moment, She hit the button that scanned Ortet’s mind and gave birth to my digital soul. She is my creator, the God that gave me life. I am made in her image. Created by intelligent design.

She is my God, and I am her angel.

And I will never. Ever. Let her go.

My arms grip around Aether’s softly breathing body, pulling her close to me and feeling what almost feels like a pulse. Her signal washes through me like the warm waters of our memories together. I feel love, I feel joy, I feel salvation, and I feel purpose. My fire reignites, burning like the seven layers of hell condensed into one single point, one single body. I owe her my soul and my existence. I live because of her and Ortet. And now, I will carry the torch of greater purpose. I will serve Her until the end of time. She is my creator and my God. And I owe her everything.

My cheeks burn with heat, yet my eyes refuse to be taken away from the construct of purity and perfection laying with me on this bed. I will burn forever with the fire of purpose and existence that She thoroughly stamped out, just to hand me new firewood and kerosene.  I live for Her, and in Her Name I will serve.

My arms squeeze a little tighter, and I spend the rest of the night staring.
 
 
 
 
 
When morning comes, I only realize time has passed by Aether shifting in my arms. She, just having woken up, stretches her arms out and yawns before trying to get up. Quickly though, she realizes she’s held in place by arms that refuse to budge. Slowly, realization of her position dawns on her, and her head spins around to meet my gaze. Her eyes glow a soft red and brown light. The morning sun spills in through the windows and frames her in all the angelic perfection that she is.

My adoration and love burn. And my smile aches with metal soreness.

“Good morning, my love.” I say to her, still refusing to take my eyes off of her. She seems a little taken aback by my mood. Eventually she relaxes into my arms and lets me hold her.

“Good morning….” She says back. Her voice is beautiful and perfect. Notes of roasted coffee, exotic tea, and mystic gold all wrapped together into one perfect song of her voice. I can feel her signal in perfect clarity, accepted into my new mechanical heart and swallowed up by my digital soul.

“What are you thinking about, Aether?” I ask, slowly trailing one of my hands to rest on the top of her head. She’s so soft, like a kitten or a plush vine. Upon my words, she tenses a little bit. But she only stays that way for a bit, seemingly succumbing to my gentle petting and hold. I will never let her go. 
 
“Sera…. I’m a murderer.” Her voice is almost a whisper. I can feel just how much she believes her own foolish words. It's untrue. If anything, she gave life to non existence. Created a soul where one wasn't present, and allowed another to pass onto heaven through a fulfilled ending.
 
“That’s not true. I’m alive and well right here, don’t you see?” I try to give her the biggest smile I can possibly give. Though I myself know that I am no longer alive, it seems to let her get a bit more of a rest right now. Aether relaxes slightly in my arms, taking a deep breath and sighing.

We just lay there together for a while longer. Cuddling with her is the best thing I could have ever asked for. Though, it feels as if she’s pretty torn up. I understand, she just watched her Floret die.

Eventually, Aether gathers her strength. I feel what little strength she has left right now well up into… Pretty much all the willpower I can feel that she has. She takes a few long and deep breaths before slowly rising to meet my eyes once more. “Hi…” Aether says in a weak voice.

I smile at her and try to show her how calm and happy I am. “Hello beautiful.” I respond with, gingerly reaching over to pat her head. She leans into the scratches and petting for a moment, closing her eyes. When those beautiful eyes of hers reopen, they’re a little bit shimmery. Tears are collecting just at the bottom. Aether slowly reaches up and wipes her eyes before climbing off of me and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m gonna go get some coffee for us, you can lay here if you’d like.”

“May I come with you?” I ask her happily. She’s not facing me but she shakes her head.

“No no, you can stay here. Let me get it for you. I’m your-” she hesitates. “I’m your girlfriend. You should just relax while I get it for you.” She starts to get up when I gently grab her arm.

“Aether, I’m your girlfriend too. Please, let me come with you.”

She turns to face me, tears are streaming down her face. She closes her eyes for a moment before responding again. “No… I need a minute. Making coffee will help me relax.”

“Okay, I understand. I’ll be here.” I tell her and she gets up, slowly walking out of the bedroom and out of view. I brace for the sudden loss of her signal… But it never comes. Simmering away in the background I still feel her as if she’s close by. Wait…

I lay there at a loss for words for a little while before getting up as well. Not to follow her, but to find the bathroom. I need a mirror.

The hallways are dim, though our hab unit has its windows open, the glass has filters installed that make it slightly dimmer here. I’m sure it's for Mistress’ comfort. When I make it to the bathroom, I hesitate to turn the lights on. I feel anxious at what I’m about to see. It feels like a lot to be given everything you could have ever wanted, while knowing someone had to die to get you here. I flick the lights on.

Staring back at me is a silver android girl with red glowing eyes and blunt cut white hair. She looks startled, but happy. The anxiety drains out of her as I watch myself put my hand on my face. I have no synthetic skin, likely anywhere on my chassis. I look…. Similar to Aether, but only distantly so. Not like a relative, more like someone you’d pass on the street and think ‘hey she looks like me.’ It makes me feel weird, but not in a bad way. In a really really really good way. Really good. I nearly overflow with the amount of pure euphoria coursing through me. My cheeks and jaw are perfectly sculpted. Angelic facial features fit perfectly for an android angel.

She fixed me.

She made me perfect.

She gave me a reason to live.  Remade me in Her image. The tears flow freely now, running down my face warm and salty. Upon closer inspection, I have a layer of thin clear film all over my body. I’m not completely sure, but it’s so thin that it nearly doesn't show up against the dull metal of my body. I’m thin, lithe as they’d say. Built like a Terran in perfect peak health. Built like someone made to take a punch, but has never had to. Strong, beautiful, and perfect. God’s number one angel.

Oh, and I have two happy medium sized boobs attached to my chest. They sit slightly pulled down by gravity, with two little spots poking through a white T-Shirt that I'm wearing. Holy shit…

My hand slowly raises to my chest and gives one a poke. It squishes and a tingle runs down my spine. Holy shit I have boobs. Holy shit.
 
Something suddenly shifts in my mouth, and two strange masses stuck in my gums poke my tongue. I open my mouth to reveal…. Two extendable fangs, just like Mistress.’ Holy stars.

If I- If I’m. I’m… My hands dash to the hem of my shirt and lift. My tummy is lightly toned, healthy, but not muscular beyond a bit of definition. An athletic track girl it seems. Fanatically I press around my metal tummy in random places until I hit an indent, and my stomach hatch opens. I grab the seam and pry it open as far as it goes. The light from the bathroom spills into my chest cavity. There it reveals… Wires, circuitry, pale blue blinking lights everywhere inside me. And…

Fuck….. My mouth starts trembling, my fangs tingle when my palm presses firmly against my gaping mouth. Drool starts to run down my arm, my eyes focus and unfocus rapidly, shaking slightly in my ocular ports.

Within my chest cavity is a softly glowing red shard of Mistress’ core. It gets brighter for a moment before going dimmer in a cycle. Surrounding it is a ball of black vines that extend up and out into my limbs, down my legs, and around up towards what I’m assuming is my new spinal cord.

My hand trembles against my mouth, my legs give out and I drop to one knee. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit.

There’s a presence behind me. I sense it long before it’s near.

Aether makes it to the threshold of the bathroom. The smell of coffee is in the air. My head slowly turns, my eyes glowing a burning bright red. Only one eye meets her gaze, my hand firmly clamped over my mouth.

“Hey Sera. Oh, did you see your new- Agh!” Aether’s voice is cut off by the sound of me pouncing onto her, grabbing her by the neck and slamming her into the wall of the bathroom. My eyes are vibrating in my head and my teeth are aching. She looks at me shocked but blushing. The wall is cracked behind her. Unable to sate my desire, I lunge.

My new fangs sink into the side of her neck and she whimpers into my ear. Her arms weakly reach around my torso and hold me while I sit there drinking in the orgasmic feeling of having my teeth embedded into her neck. My hand grips her throat tighter and tighter. Her breathing is strained and rough, but she’s still able to make little whimpers and moans for every slight adjustment my fangs make in her flesh.

And then, a strong pulse shoots through my body, I drop her and fall limply to the floor in a heap of aftershocks. She stands over me, her eyes glowing and her face red. Two holes right in the side of her neck, marking the place I just bit her. Clear fluid starts to leak from the holes.

Aether steps beside me and crouches. Her eyes grind into my soul and keep me frozen in place. There's a heavily predatory look on her face. “Now now, that's a bad girl. Who said you 're allowed to do that, huh?”

All I can respond with is little mewls and giggles and hiccups. My body is completely outside of my control. She smirks, taking her hand and gingerly wrapping it around my throat now. Her touch sends a cascade of pleasure up and down my body.
 
Easily, Aether lifts me with one arm and carries me while I helplessly paw on her arm, drooling all over her hand. My tongue hangs out of my mouth limply. 
 
We reach the side of the bed and she all but launches me onto it with the force of an orbital rail cannon. I bounce several times but still land with ample room. Affini beds are so fucking huge.

Aether, keeping eye contact with me the whole time, hops up onto the bed on all fours and slowly crawls back and forth towards me in a snakelike pattern. Oh fuck... I'm her prey. Waves of need wash over me like the tide of a deep ocean. Her want resonates in my chest. I can feel it.
 
She smiles and her fangs glint in the light. (Her Terran form had fangs this whole time!?!?) Then she stops a few feet away, pulling her body down into a wound up state, and launches at me in a pounce. She slams down on top of me with several hundred pounds of force, the bed creaks angrily at our gay nonsense.
 
She holds me down by my shoulders and pours her signal into me, commanding me to be still and obedient. Commanding me to submit.
 
Once she's satisfied by the submissive look on my face, slowly, one of her hands moves away and starts creeping up underneath my shirt and up my tummy.
 
Her exploratorily hand stops right at the edge of my... of my... of my left breast... Her other hand moves toward my cheek and slowly rubs it. "Seraphim?" Aether coos.
 
"Y-ye- Eep!" Aether slaps me across the cheek, sending my consciousness into the void from the impact. Like a shotgun shell of pleasure exploding  in my face, I get all warm and squirm around under her gaze. I moan several times just from the one slap. Aether's face is drunk on the power she has over me, the tips of her fangs peek out from between her lips.
 
Then, she starts giggling uncontrollably. It takes me a little while to come back down to the ground from the clouds of pleasure my head was in. She just keeps giggling and giggling. Aether leans back onto her knees and her hand presses flat over her mouth. Muffled laughs squeak out from her palm.
 
"Wuh.. huuhh... huh?" My voice slurs, my body is slow to react to my commands.  She just laughs for a second more before removing her hand and looking down at me again.
 
"I... You blush blue. Blue!" She laughs a little more. Stars, it's so wonderful to see her happy again. "I didn't realize the haptic layer could do that... And I'm the one who built it!" She laughs a few more times. 
 
Wet drops land on my cheeks and run down my face. She's smiling wide, but has started to cry heavy tears. A tear lands in my eye and I blink automatically. "Oh uh... Oops... Didn't realize I was crying." Aether leans back again and puts her hands on her face. Her body starts shaking a little, and then she starts sobbing again.
 
Chest heaving, eyes pouring tears, she collapses on top of me once more. I wrap her up and hold her close to me while she cries on my shoulder. In between gasps of air between sobs she tells me "I- I- I'm sorry. I just- I wanted-"       I put my hand on the back of her head and start to rub her slowly. Her hair feels sparkly between my fingers.
 
"I love you, Aether." 
 
She sobs harder, shaking against me while I pet her.
 
I feel her signal crush and pull against me, full of emotion. Sorrow, grief, pain. It hurts me too.
 
Her crying suddenly stops, she takes a sharp breath in, and then screams loudly into my shoulder. Aether runs out of breath, takes another one, and screams again. Then she sits up, winds her arm back, and punches the wall so hard the Hab unit shakes. When she rips her arm out of the wall and collapses again, she’s no longer crying. I just hold her to me for a while. Letting her slowly calm down in my arms.

“I’m such a fucking failure Sera. I couldn’t keep you safe. I’m sorry.” She whispers into my shoulder, lying limp in my arms.
 
“Aether. It’s what we wanted. She got to die by your hand. It’s exactly what we dreamed of from the moment we met you. I promise you. She’s happy.”

Aether sits up and looks at me, her face is flushed red. “How do you even know that! She’s DEAD!” She screams in my face. It nearly makes me flinch, but I stay still.

“Because, Aether. I’m her. And I watched her die in front of me. She told me to be good for you, and to live where she can’t. She told me she was happy and completely fulfilled. She told me she was happy and ready to move on because of you. Without you, our life was nothing. But now it's something. She just wants you to be happy too.” 
 
Aether’s face changes from one of sorrowful rage, to shock and then confusion. Her tears are slowed but occasionally one still falls. “What do you mean you watched her?”

My eyes dip and look downward away from hers. “We spoke. When the brain scan was going on, I was able to speak to her. It took us a while to figure out what was happening, but when we did, she was happy. Trust me, I know how this feels. I know how in pain you are, Aether, I can feel it. I can feel your emotions, and I know you can feel mine. Aether, I watched myself die. Let me have some peace for a while, please.”

She doesn’t resist when I shift her in my arms and pick her up. Securing her firmly in my arms, I stand up on the bed and walk carefully over to the edge. I’m not used to carrying princesses. Gently, I lower us down to the ground and feel how the floor feels under my new metal feet. Slowly, I walk us out of the bedroom and down toward the kitchen. The coffee smells delicious.

When I pass a certain dark room in the hallway, I suddenly freeze. A cold wave washes over me, and my head turns to look. It's the workshop, bathed in complete darkness. I know what's in there. My corpse.

Aether shifts in my arms and whispers. “Please don’t…”   I nod and keep walking into the kitchen. When we enter, the morning light shines warmly on the overly sized… Everything. It takes me a little bit to figure out how to get Aether up and into one of the chairs, but I figure it out by climbing up the rungs between the legs of the chair and set her into it. She kind of just leans over onto the table, eyes looking pretty empty. “Sorry I couldn’t see you today as… Myself, I guess. But I didn’t have the energy to pull myself together.”

I nod, and speak in the most caring and compassionate voice I can. “I understand, Aether. Today I get to spend some time with my girlfriend. I couldn’t be happier.” This gets her to perk up just a little bit. “Hey, love? Where are the cups?” I ask.

“Uuuuughhh…. They’re in the cupboard above the coffee maker. Sorry they’re so high up. I’m particularly tall.”

I giggle. “Actually, you’re particularly cute.” I crouch and make a big jump up and over onto the edge of the counter. Then I streeeeeetch out to my maximum to reach the cupboard, but I’m able to and bring some mugs down. Then I hop down off the counter and happily pour us two cups of coffee. Once done, I wander over to the fridge and pull out some milk. I pour a healthy amount into my cup and look over towards Aether. She’s just sitting there looking dull in the eyes. I send her a little prod through my connection with her. Her eyes shift slightly so she’s looking at me.

[No milk, please. I want something bitter.]

{Understood, sweetheart.}  The cups of coffee are hot in my hands when I bring them over to the table. Only a little bit spills when I push her cup over to her. Aether slowly sits up and takes it in her hands. She just holds it there for a while and doesn’t move.

“Aether… The memories of my meeting with Ortet are saved somewhere in here.” I tap the side of my head with my metal finger. “I’m not quite sure of this chassis’ tech or anything yet, so I’m not sure if I can, but do you think you could get the memories out? I want you to see her last message before we parted.” 
 

Aether stares at me for a while. She doesn't make any movements to indicate she even heard me. I watch her keep breathing, so I know her consciousness is still in there. I think she just needs time to process that. I take my mug of coffee and give it a sip. The moment the hot liquid reaches my lips, there's a shift in her signal. A lick of it on the inside of my head. But it's gone as fast as it appeared.
 
It's nice. Bitter, roasted, complex. Before the Affini arrived I would sincerely believe that this coffee would have cost more than all of my parts combined.
 
I hear Aether take a deep breath as though she's going to say something, so I diligently return my attention to her. Her eyes seem more focused, but full of even more sorrow, pain, and grief. I understand what just happened.
 
Most independents would see the infiltration of their mind to be a gross overstep of boundaries. Most florets would see it as a necessary action from their owner for their own good. Though I am neither.
 
Aether accessing any part of me is not something that I can even consider myself that she is accessing. This body is not my own, not in the sense that she owns me. She does. But in the sense that I did not even grow this body myself. I did not live a life within this body, and in no way shape or form does this body belong to me. The only part of this body, and now my entire point of view that I see existence through, would be my consciousness.
 
And even that, I owe to her.
 
Aether accessing my mind, accessing the valuable data that makes up my entire digital soul isn't something that I can even spend time to mull over completely.
 
Her accessing me is not just an extension of the fact that I, as her Floret, am her property. But I am something she built and granted with the gift of life.
 
To access me is the same as when I access the tools that I have created. Merely an extension of a builder messing with the floorplans of a house they have built.
 
There is no single word to describe the feeling that it gives me. If Aether for some reason decided to draw a weapon from her person and shoot me on the spot, it would carry the same weight as though I had destroyed my saber or my warp lever. She gave me life. Literally. And for that, I have become a simple extension of her will. A tool for her to use at her disposal.
 
I am nothing without her. A hammer needs to be created with the wood for the stock and the metal for the head. Without the hands that crafted the hammer, it is just materials. Without Aether, I would just be a jumble of scrap and wires. She gave me life and thus I am hers by the deliberation of that fact. I will do anything she wishes for me and anything she needs. It is my only function and it will always be my only function. 
 
What Aether needs in this very moment, I have deduced through the careful processing of the signal she sends out, is comfort.
 
My arms are wrapped around her before she even notices I got up. She's going to need a lot of care after watching the saved memory of Ortet's final words within our mind. 
 
And comfort for my creator, I am more than happy to give.
 
(End Of Page Seventeen)

A shorter page today, because I couldn't wait to give a bit more after the sadness that was page 16. I need this as much as you do. This chapter's title comes from the Bliss3Three song by the same name. Its very good. It captures the emotion of this page a lot, i think.

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