AlternianDidact: I wanted to talk about what happened last night.HypnospacePsychonaut: Yeah?AlternianDidact is typing......AlternianDidact is typing......AlternianDidact is typing......AlternianDidact: I liked it.HypnospacePsychonaut: You liked it, huh? >:3AlternianDidact: I did.HypnospacePsychonaut: I'm happy that you're starting to express your desires! It's good for youHypnospacePsychonaut: Did it help you come to a realisation about yourself?AlternianDidact: I'm honestly not sure yet.
"So given that we might get intimate on purpose this time," Myrrah said, giving Lucas a wink, "you should give me a personal safeword. Now, I'll be doing color checks anyway, and you can always just say 'safeword' if you need to pump the brakes, but I find it gives subs a bigger sense of agency if they also have their own safeword as well. This should be something that-"
Lucas held up a hand. "... will never otherwise come up in a scene, that's easy for me to remember and can't be mistaken for a different word. I have done kink before, you know! Etemenanki."
"Etemenanki?" Myrrah repeated, tilting her head slightly.
"It means 'Temple of the Foundation of Heaven and Earth.' The ancient Sumerians built ziggurats, these huge sort of half-pyramids to put temples on top of," Lucas explained, shrugging. "Etemenanki was the biggest. I figured Mesopotamian archaeology wasn't gonna be a prominent theme in kink scenes, and it's a pretty distinct word. Sticks in my mind."
Myrrah nodded approvingly. "Solid argument, well made. Etemenanki it is. Very nerdy. Suits you. Alright, so, are you ready to start?"
Lucas, as usual, blushed furiously, but there was an eagerness to his expression. "Yeah."
Myrrah took a step forward. In human form, she was about as tall as he was, but he still felt like she was towering over him. Her arms gently encircled his shoulders, and the fingers of her right hand twined themselves through the hair on the back of his head. Right now, he looked like his usual unformed, blurry self - he hadn't been able to make the changes from last time stick, but that would take time and Myrrah was patient. She pressed her forehead to his, smiling as he whimpered softly and shut his eyes, then ran her cheek against his, sliding slowly along until her lips were nearly touching his ear.
She spoke in a whisper, so soft it barely registered above the silence of the room. "Let's see if we can bring out that good girl again..."
Myrrah let out an encouraging murmur as she felt Lucas' body shift against hers. It still took mental effort on her part, but Lucas was doing some of the work this time as well. His face shifted subtly as it had before, losing its stubble-shadow, skin softening and features rearranging slightly. His hair blossomed out beneath and around Myrrah's hand, falling around his shoulders. This was where they'd left off last time.
"I want you to understand," she said, still in a low whisper, "that where we got to last time would take about a year. Maybe longer for this hair, I don't know how fast yours grows. If you take really well to HRT, maybe six to eight months for this face. Laser takes months, too, although you can get results on the shadow pretty quickly. We go much further, we're gonna get into stuff you wouldn't be seeing for years, even if you started transition tomorrow. I'm gonna keep my promise to show you nothing that can't be done in reality, but this will take time, and I need you to promise me you understand that."
While she was this close to Lucas, this intimate with him, thoughts and emotions could bleed across the dream. She could feel the yearning to try something more, kept at bay by a terrible fear of messing things up.
"It's okay," Lucas whispered, voice shaking a little. "Let's just... stay like this for now."
HypnospacePsychonaut: so i have a question for youHypnospacePsychonaut: and full disclosure it's gonna be pretty wildHypnospacePsychonaut: but i need you to answer perfectly honestlyHypnospacePsychonaut: for reasons that are only gonna make sense laterHypnospacePsychonaut: are you okay with thatAlternianDidact: Yes, I think.HypnospacePsychonaut: question number oneHypnospacePsychonaut: woof this will be interestingHypnospacePsychonaut: do you find me attractive?
"Color check," Myrrah chirped.
"Green," Lucas replied, pressing his body closer against hers.
Myrrah gave the boy's head a gentle squeeze. "What would you like to do?"
Again, this close to Lucas, Myrrah could feel the various things that he wanted, but was afraid to ask for. Eventually, he settled on an answer. "... just hold me for a moment."
In response, Myrrah wrapped her free arm around his back, gently grasping at his flank, and gently pulled him as close against her as she could. Lucas' hands fumbled, trying to find an appropriate spot to rest, eventually settling at the base of her shoulder blades, fingers digging in ever so slightly. His chin rested on her shoulder, and even though she couldn't see them, she could feel tears flowing.
"Shhh," she whispered. "It's okay. You're safe here. We can stay like this for as long as you want. You don't have to do anything else, you can just be."
"I want," Lucas whimpered. "I want... I want... I want..."
Myrrah gave the back of his head a firm squeeze. "Tell me."
AlternianDidact: Yes.HypnospacePsychonaut: wow that was real quick 😉HypnospacePsychonaut: also ❤️HypnospacePsychonaut: okay i lied it's actually two questionsHypnospacePsychonaut: FOLLOW UP QUESTION: whyHypnospacePsychonaut: what about me do you find attractiveHypnospacePsychonaut: (again not gonna get mad whatever you say)HypnospacePsychonaut: (i've had people in my dms who said the wildest most grossest shit imaginable, you could not out-gross them if you tried)HypnospacePsychonaut: (but please do not try)AlternianDidact: That's a difficult question. I admire your style? I like the way you dress.HypnospacePsychonaut: would you like to dress like me?HypnospacePsychonaut: Shit this is turning into a lot of questions lmao I'm sorry "just one question" is officially off the tableHypnospacePsychonaut: but yeah would you want to dress like me?AlternianDidact: I don't think I could pull off the looks you can do.
Her hands reached down, grasped the bottom of his t-shirt, and she called a colour check. Green. She pulled it off, up over his head, revealing his bare chest. She grasped his shoulders firmly and span him around, then pulled him back against her chest. She was never rough, only firm, never trying to force any movement; just encouraging it to happen and guiding it when it did. She pressed on his chin with two fingers, turning his head back, and pressed her lips to his, and he melted into her arms as their tongues touched, letting out a plaintive little whine of need, all the tension in his body slowly unwinding. Myrrah held him ever so slightly tighter, and he shivered, nestling his body even further into hers.
She moved her hands down, over his pecs, over his nipples, and broke the kiss long enough to make another colour check. Green. She squeezed rhythmically, focusing her imagination on teasing a little growth out of them, and his flat chest began to spring back a little less every time - but he started to groan, louder every time.
"You feel that?" Her voice in his ear was just above a whisper. "That's what about a year of estrogen would do to your chest. They won't get all that big, that takes longer, but... mmmm! Aren't they just so sensitive now? Doesn't it feel so good when I just... squeeze..."
Lucas was biting his lip so hard Myrrah felt sure he would've drawn blood in the real world. "F-fuck... yeah... fuck..."
She kept kneading gently, rubbing her cheek against his. "Do you want me to try touching your nipples?"
The response was immediate. "Please! Yes! God, fuck, please..."
"We can start gently..." she murmured, the tips of her middle fingers circled Lucas' areolas, her touch feather-light, barely making contact at all, but she could feel a shiver pass through his body, and he let out a soft gasp. "And then we can press a little, right..." Her fingers pushed in on the nipples themselves - just a little push, like pressing a key on a keyboard, but that teased a fully-voiced whimper, "... here." She asked for a colour, and green came out not as a statement but as a moan. Five, ten, fifteen minutes passed, light touches at first, slowly moving on to more vigorous rubbing, pressing and rolling. Each time she checked, Lucas wanted more.
After twenty minutes of joyous torture, she leaned in close to his ear and whispered again. "Want to try something spicier?"
He nodded eagerly, so she set both nubs of flesh between her index fingers and thumbs, and pinched hard. Lucas screamed, and Myrrah immediately released them, hugging him close.
"Shit, are you okay?" Her voice trembled a little. "Color check."
Lucas was panting, even though his dream body didn't need air, and pushing himself back against her. "Green. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, do that again. Do that again."
Myrrah breathed a sigh of relief. Now having confirmed that they were screams of pleasure, she immediately got to work teasing another out of the quivering boy in her arms.
HypnospacePsychonaut: Why not?AlternianDidact: I just don't think I'm cool enough.HypnospacePsychonaut: lmfao cool has nothing to do with it I am not cool at allHypnospacePsychonaut: I am a huge gay nerd who spends exactly 100% of her time faking being coolHypnospacePsychonaut: TERRIBLE SECRET: all cool people are like that, absolute fraudsHypnospacePsychonaut: send us all to federal prison for cool fraudHypnospacePsychonaut: (fyi my cule are actually cool though they're the only genuinely cool people in existence)HypnospacePsychonaut: There is absolutely no reason you could not pull off looks like mine if you wanted to
Lucas was a trembling mess. Even in the dream, where exhaustion didn't really exist, his legs had failed him, so Myrrah had conjured a bed and sat them both down, still with her behind and him in front. She was quickly learning to play the boy like an instrument, rolling or pinching or tugging his sensitive nipples just so to draw a moan or a whine or a whimper out of him - she was careful to apply the pressure necessary to bring out another scream very seldom, so as not to overstimulate him too badly. He called yellow in response to her colour checks once or twice, but that was just to catch his breath. She never needed to ask if he wanted to start up again - he always asked for it first. No, ask was the wrong word. He begged.
"Is this what it feels like," he gasped, after one particularly intense tweak, "all the time?"
"No," Myrrah answered, cluthing his whole breast in her fist and gently kneading. "You'd have good days and bad days, like with anything else. Some days, you're gonna want to play with them until you pass out. Other days you're gonna wake up, gently bump your tit on a door and immediately want to die. And it's gonna be like that with your whole body - good days and bad days, I mean. Your mind, too. I'm not gonna lie - it isn't always easy for me, even now, years in."
Lucas turned his head a little. "But it's worth it?"
"Even though I could walk in dreams and see things no other living person ever gets to see," Myrrah said, giving the boy's hair a gentle stroke, "I carried this... emptiness around. Emptiness?" She thought for a moment. "No... not emptiness exactly, because it couldn't be filled with anything. It took up space but didn't contribute anything. Dead weight. Getting rid of it was hard, and filling the actual emptiness it left afterwards was even harder. But it was the most worthwhile thing I've ever done."
Lucas turned away again, letting out a sigh. "I just... I just wish it as easier to decide."
"Hey, hey." She reached a hand up to his chin, turning it back towards her. "It's not a race. I'll be here for you whatever you choose, and for however long it takes you to choose."
She leaned in close, wrapped her lips around his, and kissed. For just a moment, she could physically feel all his fears and anxieties melting away just a little.
AlternianDidact: I just feel like I'm missing some kind of energy that you project.HypnospacePsychonaut: follow-up question number #43838393948982 or somethHypnospacePsychonaut: do you think that "energy" is innate to a person?HypnospacePsychonaut: like you have big gloomy depressed energy right now sure but were you always depressed from birth?HypnospacePsychonaut: i've seen a few of your happy memories tooHypnospacePsychonaut: i know there was a time in your life you felt joy freely and oftenHypnospacePsychonaut: do you think i was always a wild trans girl dominatrix daddy pornstar hyena or some shitHypnospacePsychonaut: you know i have been in some DARK fucking places in my lifeHypnospacePsychonaut: it was 2010 and my favourite band was still drowning pool ffs
When Lucas was ready to go again, Myrrah suggested they take things down a notch and try some modifications to his appearance that could be done regardless of transition. First stop: piercings.
Myrrah offered him the opportunity to just have the piercings appear without sensation, but Lucas said he wanted to know how it felt to have needles stuck through the relevant parts of his ear. He hadn't been able to say it without blushing, of course, which let Myrrah know he wasn't just trying to get a feel for how he'd take it.
"Now, see, for safety and healing reasons, you couldn't get probably more than one in each ear done every two weeks," Myrrah explained, as she gently tumbled the needle between her fingers. "But we don't have the limitations of the flesh here. Can you take a deep breath for me?"
Lucas shut his eyes and pulled in as deep a breath as he could.
"Good girl," Myrrah purred as she slid the needle through the lobe of his right ear, drawing a sharp hiss of breath out of him. "Good girl. How did that feel?"
"Sharp, for a moment," he replied, reaching a hand up before having it gently batted away by Myrrah. "Not anywhere near as bad as I imagined."
Myrrah conjured a black titanium barbell and gently pushed it through the new hole. "See, I'm no expert in the real world," she remarked, screwing on the piercing's second ball. "A friend showed me the basics, but I'd never feel confident doing it to a real person. It was just to get a feel for the basics here."
"Val?" Lucas enquired.
"Oh, yeah, so many needles in the ratwife. Real pincushion. But Katie likes it too. Alex wanted to know, too, so he..." Myrrah paused for a moment.
Lucas turned his head a little.
"Well, you should see what Alex gets up to with me," Myrrah chuckled - and suddenly it was her turn to blush.
Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Wait, does he..."
"... take charge when we're together? Almost all the time," she said, twirling the needle between her fingers and gently taking Lucas' left earlobe in hand. "Sometimes I need to take a load off, and he knows just what buttons to push. Deep breath in..."
The needle slid through tender flesh once more, and this time Lucas didn't make a sound, just clenched his fists.
"Good girl," Myrrah affirmed, fitting another barbell into the hole.
To his great dismay, Lucas' ears weren't the right shape for industrials. "I think they're the coolest type," he explained, mournfully. But Myrrah had managed to assemble a striking look anyway; she had initially suggested an asymmetrical set of piercings, the same as her and Val, but Lucas' brain had rebelled at the idea, so they ended up going with three studs in each lobe, a set of three studs running up the helix of each ear and a ring in each conch. The needle stung every time it went in, leaving a sharp burning that faded over a minute or so, but it was worth it - he enjoyed the sensation well enough, but the best part was that he'd get a good girl from Myrrah every time she pulled the needle out again.
HypnospacePsychonaut: Question 8 gigabillionHypnospacePsychonaut: say that i could somehow, idkHypnospacePsychonaut: freaky friday body swap you with meHypnospacePsychonaut: (pretty much absolutely sure i cannot do that but go with me on this journey)HypnospacePsychonaut: and you could look like me, talk like me, suck dick like meHypnospacePsychonaut: (and trust me I do do all of those things REAL good)HypnospacePsychonaut: you could for all intents and purposes be me for a nightHypnospacePsychonaut: would that be something that would satisfy a desire
"Green," Lucas gasped.
They were both sitting down again, with his back pressed into Myrrah's chest, and her tongue was running over his ears, teasing the new piercings and sending little tingling bursts of sensation racing through his head. His hands were laid on top of hers, which were grasping his breasts again, squeezing and clutching them roughly, and the pleasure rolled through his body in sharp, harsh waves that made him writhe. Time began to dissolve - it felt like they had to have been doing this for hours now, but he remembered conversations from before that seemed to fill hours by themselves.
Finally, the eternal moment was broken when Myrrah whispered in his ear again. "Shall we bring two themes together?" She flicked her wrist and the needle appeared between her fingers again.
Lucas let out a plaintive whine, squirming desperately, bare back rubbing against Myrrah's chest. "You mean..."
"Yeah, I mean piercing your nipples," she stated, chuckling. That got a shiver out of the boy in her arms. "You like it when I spell things out real clearly, don't you?"
Lucas let out a whimper, and could only bring himself to nod.
Myrrah nuzzled his cheek. "So would you like to try it? See what these babies look like with a couple of rings in them?"
Lucas closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes."
Myrrah twirled the needle between her fingers. She didn't want to go too hard, but she was having fun with this. "Yes, what?"
Lucas let out another whimper. "Yes, please pierce me."
"Wheeeeeere?" Myrrah cooed in a sing-song voice.
Lucas grit his teeth and whined. "Please pierce my nipples, miss!"
"Good girl," Myrrah hissed.
The needle sank into Lucas' right nipple, and he let out an ear-splitting noise somewhere between a moan and a wail, but - just like Myrrah had taught him - didn't jerk or twitch, holding his body perfectly still as the needle went all the way through. As it came out again and Myrrah got to work adding the piercing, he let out a groan and his head drooped forward, so she stopped her work and looked up.
"Color check," she enquired. "You okay there?"
"Green. Oh god. Fuck. I just wasn't expecting that," he gasped, his whole body trembling.
With a smile of relief, Myrrah got back to work fitting the piercing. "Yeah, it can catch you by surprise. Do you want me to do the other one?"
AlternianDidact: No.HypnospacePsychonaut: why notAlternianDidact: It wouldn't be genuine. I wouldn't really be me. It would be people finding you attractive.HypnospacePsychonaut: ah okay but you wouldn't find the idea of being in my body horrificAlternianDidact: No, of course not. Why would I? Didn't I just tell you that I find you attrractive?HypnospacePsychonaut: you wouldn't feel upset at the idea of being in a trans person's bodyHypnospacePsychonaut: you would only be upset that it wasn't YOUR bodyAlternianDidact is typing......AlternianDidact is typing......AlternianDidact: I want to talk about something else now.
"Gosh," Myrrah cooed in his ear, "impressive endurance you have. You could give Val a run for its money. I'm sure it'd be impressed."
She could feel the blush on Lucas' cheeks, feel what those words had done to him. "Y-you really th-think so," he stammered.
"Absolutely," Myrrah replied, gently stroking the boy's hair. "Look, you didn't exactly make the attention you were giving it subtle."
That made the blushing even worse, and Lucas curled in on himself a little bit more. "I think they- it's just..."
Myrrah very gently ran her tongue up the ridge of Lucas' ear, driving a pronounced shudder down his spine. She chuckled. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding my darling ratwife cute. I share it with the rest of the cule, and it has its own flings with outside people all the time. There's no risk of me getting jealous."
Lucas turned his head away. "I just don't think it'd be interested in someone like m-aaah!" He was cut off as Myrrah gave his nipples a gentle pinch.
"Self-talk," Myrrah chided, rubbing her cheek against his. "Plus, who do you think pushed the hardest for me to talk to you about dysphoria?"
Lucas turned to look Myrrah in the eyes. "Th- it really did that?"
"Sweetie, it literally said that if it deserved the Myrrah that saved it, you definitely do," Myrrah replied, giving the boy a reassuring squeeze. "And it's not my place to explain why, but I can tell you it means a whole hell of a lot for Val to say that."
They took a break so Lucas could stop crying, but they were happy tears.
HypnospacePsychonaut: okay, how about we talk aboutHypnospacePsychonaut: whether you would like to try doing what we did again?AlternianDidact: Yes. Please.HypnospacePsychonaut: Damn that was like 3 seconds 😉AlternianDidact: Wait, by "doing what we did again," do you mean changing my appearance, or... the other stuff?HypnospacePsychonaut: Yes 😉AlternianDidact: 😳HypnospacePsychonaut: Gosh, was that an emoji? Never thought I'd tease one of those out of you.AlternianDidact: ... yes.HypnospacePsychonaut: 😈