The door of my dorm bathroom opened, and steam rolled out, only visible because of the light shining through the doorway. I bit at my fingernails in anticipation, a bad habit, but I couldn’t help it. And then, out walked out Jennifer Strauss, body wrapped in a short towel, hair wet and down to mid-back. She looked at me and smiled, “it was really sweet of you to me use your shower.”

Her hands played with the crease on the towel which kept it from falling down. My breath quickened. “Yeah, anytime, Jennifer”

“Please, Jennifer sounds so old,” her hands moved to undo the towel, “Call me Jenny.” And the towel fell to the ground.

* * *
I had been drunk when I had decided to apply for Channel 11. It was the only possible explanation I had for possibly thinking I could go from a nobody college freshman who hadn’t even finished my core classes to the Intern at Channel 11, the biggest News Channel in Cloudchester. I know I was drunk because I certainly didn’t remember typing my cover letter in which I must have been divinely inspired as I broke down my life into a series of moments which had been defined by the Morning and Evening News. It was pretty fucking great, and I don’t even consider myself a decent writer. Still I did it or else I wouldn’t have received the email:

Dear Mr. Jean Williams,
We hope this email finds you well. Our hiring team was incredibly impressed with your cover letter and your passion for the local news. As such, we would like to offer you the position of SUMMER UNPAID INTERN, at our local station in Cloudchester. We will need you to come in on 06/04 for a mandatory meeting where we will be discussing the rules and expectations of an intern, as well as assigning roles for the selected interns this Summer.

This is a full time commitment and all Interns that accept this role are required to be there the duration of the internship from JUNE-AUGUST. Please E-Mail back once you have made your decision.

Sincerely, The Jennifer Strauss Team
Before I had received that E-mail, I was planning on going back to making pizzas for $7.50 an hour. Sure it wasn’t really any money at all, but it sure beat being broke. But I’ll tell you what beats the shit out of 7.50 an hour, getting to spend my summer working alongside the hottest MILF in our city, maybe even our state, Jennifer Strauss. she had that sort of face with that severity to tell you the most tragic news in the world, but also had that sort of library sexiness, which comes with someone as unattainable as Jennifer. Her makeup was always perfect and she had those perfect tight breast which always did just enough to push out her blossom blazer on the evening news and keep my eyes moving up and down as she spoke. It had been this way since I first started feeling attraction to women and since then my lust for her had only grown.

Now, I would get to spend the whole summer with her, maybe even make a move or two and have a story I’d be able to tell my boys about for the rest of my life. I don’t mean to sound like a desperate virgin when I say all of this. I had my fair share of hook ups in high school, and have made the most of my early college years by going to a bunch of parties and getting to charm my way in with women much more beautiful than me. But never an older woman, never a celebrity, and most certainly never Jennifer Strauss. She was my white whale, my Santa’s village in the Polar express, my trip to the chocolate factory, and in my inbox was the golden ticket.

My fingers hovered over my email accepting my position, not from doubt, but paralyzed by the Schrodinger’s box of fantasies, which existed within accepting this reply. But, as the last class of the semester rang its final bell, I hit submit, accepted my position and within a week I would find myself outside of the headquarters of channel 11.

They’re building fit well into our medium size city, had that slightly upper middle class, sort of architecture which went above a simple office space and included windows out onto the streets, a large sign, indicating that this is where the news was being filmed, and of course, poster with the two lead anchors of the Evening News, my darling, Jennifer and Bert Anderson, two staples of our town.

There was a lot of speculation as to whether the two had dated, especially after last year’s parade through the downtown area in which they sat as king and queen on top of a giant throne, I choose not to believe it. After all, I’m a huge basketball fan and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years of supporting the Cleveland Cavaliers, it’s that fairytales do come true.

Finally, it was the voice of a young woman that would knock me out of reliving the LeBron James era in my head. “Hi, my name is Amanda. I’m a producer for the show and also kind of our Intern Shepherd.” She was doing that thing I didn’t like where someone who’s only a couple of years older than me treat me like a child, but I just smiled and nodded along as she asked, “And what’s your name?” She had long red hair pulled into a messy bun. Her face was freckled with honey brown eyes that seemed to judge your every move. I couldn’t decide if her outfit was bad or high fashion, but I bet that’s exactly what she was going for anyways.

“Uh- Jean,” I said, “ Jean Williams.” She thought about it for a second.

“Oh, you’re that freshman boy who wrote that incredible cover letter”

Damn, I guess I have to drink more often because I seriously don’t know where the hell that came from. “Yep, I guess so. I’m excited to get started.”

“And we are excited to have you, now follow me, little sheep, “she said as she turned and walked further into the building. My eyes followed her ass in her brown pants until my feet followed.

The colour scheme for the whole place was deep brown, with a linoleum floor and pictures of major world events intermixed with our local news. Then there were pictures of old anchors and the editors’ in chief from when this new station was just a newspaper back in the early 1900s. Yeah, I had done my research on Wikipedia as any well prepared intern should. “You are the last intern to arrive, so the rest are already waiting for you on the main floor of the studio.” That sucked to hear since I was here 30 minutes early to the 6 PM call time. “But, not to worry as the show hasn’t started yet.” She winked.

“The show?” I asked.

“Yeah! We’re not going to have our intern start out without knowing exactly how the sausage gets made.” And suddenly, we were in a large studio with an incredible amount of overhead lighting, a large Teleprompter, guys in jeans and T-shirts, walking around, saying all sorts of stuff with headphones on and in the corner were two other interns, they both seemed about 2 to 3 years older than me. One was a guy named Dai Patel who had been in my communication class, and the other was an attractive girl.

Amanda walked me over, so we could introduce ourselves to each other. Dai was shorter than me at 5′6, and he had that smug look of confidence that seemed kind of rehearsed as if I had taken in years to develop a persona which embodied charisma rather than being born with it.

“Hi! I’m Janice, so nice to meet you!” As soon as she introduced herself in that way, I knew she wanted to be an on-air reporter, and she definitely could be. Janice was tall at about 6 feet, with short cropped, brown hair, and distractingly large breast. I mean, seriously, they were nearly popping out of her V cut sweater. We made some small talk, but before long someone shouted at us to be quiet and with Amanda by our side, we looked to the stage where I saw Bert and Jennifer getting some final touches done of their make up. She was even more gorgeous from up close.

“ oh Cara, I had almost completely forgotten, “Jennifer said, “last week was your son’s birthday right? “

“Yes, Jennifer, “the older lady said, “it sure was, he turned 14.”

“14 is a crazy time, well you just tell him that aunt Jennifer got him this, “and she pulled out from underneath her desk, a steam deck. I had never been so jealous in my life of a 14-year-old boy. “ one of my ex-boyfriend’s got this for me so I would get into gaming with him, but the last video game I played was Frogger in college or something like that, “she said with a perfect giggle.

So that’s how I found out that my dream woman was also extremely kind, caring and at one point had played a video game. I also played video games, something in the universe was telling me that we were meant to be. They went through their usual segments, stopped every now and then to ‘go to the field’ or to cut for commercials, until finally they got to my favorite segment on their show, ‘local hero’. On this segment they would bring in a local hero from the community and give them a quick interview. Normally, the guest was a firefighter, a teacher, or a puppy, but in this case the guest was this old man with a big mustache, large glasses, and a big bald head. He looked like the stereotypical mad scientists and he moved like one two as he peeped and prawned around around the studio set until they finally got him to sit down in his seat with a large metallic thing in in his hand. It kind of looked like a blood pressure monitors like the ones at the supermarket except more compact and with a little wand at the end. He was nervous.

“Welcome back, folks!” Jennifer beamed at the camera with her million dollar smile. “There are plenty of smart people in Cloudchester, but perhaps no one as smart as our hero of the week, and local mad scientist, Ubner Spectre!” a fake applause sound played.

‘Yes and Ubner would you care to introduce yourself?” Bert added.

“Y- y- yes. I am Ubner. I worked for for for many years as a scientist for the CIA developing all s- s- s- sorts of secret technology.” He had an Eastern European accent as he spoke.

I remember thinking it was the most boring thing in the world as he droned on and on about boring stuff nobody could understand while Bert and Jennifer professionally guided him through the segment until finally they were done, and thank God cause I hadn’t had a chance to use the bathroom.

I walked over hoping it wouldn’t be too much trouble, but as I open the door, a nerdy voice stopped me. “Excuse me, young man, you wouldn’t mind letting an old man cut ahead of you?”

“No, of course not.” The nerdy scientist stopped beside me and looked me dead in the eyes with a penetrating glare. It was as if he could see the inner machinations of my mind. “This old thing... it’s harder to use every day,” he said, pointing at his crotch. Keep in mind, I had already agreed to move out of the way and had not asked him any questions. He volunteered that information all on his own. He stepped into the bathroom with the box in hand and stepped right back out. “To be honest, young man, I don’t think I’ll be able to use the restroom with this box in my hands. Do you mind holding it for me? Just be very careful. It’ll give you exactly what you need.”

“Interns!” Amanda called from the middle of the studio. “There’s someone who would like to speak with all of you!” Jennifer was right next to her, making casual conversation with one of the tech guys.

I didn’t know if I should try to stay until the old man was done or run over hoping that he could find me, but I figured since he had enough trouble using his “tool,” as he told me, I could probably get away with walking over to the meeting. I took my first steps toward Jennifer with the nerd box in hand.

“Hello! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jennifer. I am the evening news anchor and I have been with the station for over twenty-five years. I actually started by doing an internship just like you’re all doing now.” Her voice was like liquid honey, and there was something so provocative about it, as if the memories were being carried into my mind as she spoke. “Gosh, that was a lifetime ago.”

Amanda rolled her eyes at her happy coworker. Clearly, there was some tension there that was beyond my understanding.

Jennifer continued, “Would you all mind introducing yourselves?”

One by one we did, until finally it was my turn. I gave her my biggest smile as I told her, “My name is Jean Williams. I am a rising sophomore.” Nailed it.

“Oh, you’re the one with the amazing cover letter.” Here we go again. “But why do you have that scientist’s box?”

“Oh.” I had honestly forgotten that I was holding it. “He gave me this to hold while he went to use the restroom.”

“Cool!” she said with a million-dollar smile. “Glad to see one of our interns is already networking with the local talent. It’s one of the many perks of the job. Well, I just wanted to meet all of you, and I’m sure we will be seeing a lot more of each other.” God willing.

With that, she walked away toward the crafts table where they had sandwiches, little yogurt cups, sugary cereals like Mini-Wheats, and just one apple. Jennifer went for the sandwich and the apple.

“Okay,” Amanda said, “I’m going to go set up the next session for you guys, but I want you to wander around here for the next twenty minutes and meet some of the staff. Make some friends and start putting a face to a name. Don’t be shy, my little sheep,” she said as she turned, leaving me and Dai staring at her voluptuous backside. Janice instantly went to go talk to other people.

Dai whispered to me, “Is it just me, or are all the women here super hot?”

“Dai, I think there’s something in the water. Something glorious.” I patted his shoulder and made my way over to the crafts table. There was a whole room of people to talk to, but I was young, at a job I wasn’t sure I should even have in the first place, and in front of me was my dream girl. I thought of LeBron’s block in the championship against Golden State. Anything could happen. I took a deep breath, embodied my inner James Dean, and trotted over to the crafts table.

“Hey, it’s cover letter guy!” she said with a cheery smile between bites of her sandwich.

Fuck. Terrible start. “Haha, yeah, that’s me, ma’am.” I got closer to her, lowering the distance between us to only a couple of feet. Her perfume smelled like strawberry shortcake, and it was almost intoxicating. “It’s a pleasure to be here and get to learn more about the news and how everything gets done.”

“Well, yeah,” she giggled in a kind way. “Isn’t that kind of why you’re doing your internship?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m just kind of nervous because,well, this is kind of silly to admit, but you’re one of my biggest idols. So I guess I came over to talk to you because I just feel like I have a lot to learn.” I was being 100% honest with her, mostly. I had no interest in being a news anchor, so I couldn’t idolize her in that way, but I did admire her skills as much as her looks.

“You certainly do. It took me more than twenty years to get to my position and, at the start, I bet you wouldn’t have even recognized me. I was just some cheerleader who needed a job, but I learned the business. Even if my good looks helped me out a lot at the beginning, eventually I learned the tricks of the trade, and look at me now.” She signaled her hands up and down, so I took the invitation. What a sight. “So, if you really want to learn from me, then watch carefully, because there’s only so much you can learn in one summer.”

“Well.” Here we go. Time to risk everything. “Maybe we could grab a coffee sometime and talk some more about it.” It felt like the universe froze for a second. All I could do was give her my most charming smile and hope.

She walked slowly up to me. For a second, I feared she might slap me, but instead, she took my hand between hers like a baby bird and looked at me with motherly eyes. “You’re sweet, and pretty cute for your age, but I am much too old for you.” She let my hand go.

I had one more card up my sleeve. “Age is just a number.”

“That’s very true,” she said, “but experience is not just a number, and you have so many more experiences to go before we might even be slightly compatible.” She took a big bite of her sandwich and said, “I don’t want to get you into any trouble, so how about we both just forget this happened? You never bring it up again, and we have a fantastic summer of learning.”

I thought back to some of the dating simulators I had played, and I thought of those moments in the game where you realize that every decision you have made up to this point has led to you not having a chance with your favorite girl,and you forgot to save. That’s how I felt as she walked away. She had a bubble butt which was visible through her slacks, and that just made the whole situation so much worse.

I had played my last card. At least, that’s what I thought until I remembered the big metal device in my hand.

“It’ll give you exactly what you need.”

Those had been his words. So, with nowhere else to turn, I aimed the little wand toward my dream girl, placed the strap around my arm, and pressed the little green button. A small beam of light shot out from the wand and hit Jennifer right between her shoulder blades. She scratched at her back for a second, confused, and then kept walking,presumably toward her dressing room.

I couldn’t have known then that pressing that button would be the best decision I would make in my life.