What was the term for it anyway? The term for losing your mind to someone, something else. For your thoughts vanishing, as if they were being selectively plucked right out of your mind. For being consumed, and feeling emptier for it.
I couldn’t even remember what they were called now, or if I ever even knew of a name to begin with. All I knew was the way it gripped me, with its arms, or whatever appendages it had that could hold me down so firmly I couldn’t even look up if I dared. All I knew was the steady and controlled breathing behind me, the cold breath tickling my neck, a stark contrast to my own labored and shuddering gasps. The way that coldness seeped into my skin and made me shiver, even as the pleasure radiating throughout my body threatened to melt me down into insanity and desperation for more.
I had been the fool. Even the town’s wilderness rangers had encountered their fair share of problems the deeper they explored. They warned would-be adventurers, curious minds to stay away from the newly-discovered caves, that whatever discoveries to be had weren’t worth the potential harm.
This was far beyond harm, I realized through gritted teeth. I was losing my thoughts, my feelings, my very essence, everything that made me…me. I didn’t want to slip away. I wanted to stay me.
But I couldn’t help but wish up and down to the skies for more. And I knew that that was part of it, part of my descent into oblivion, and I craved it. The coldness took my breath away and left my nerves numb, and I needed the heat, the raw sensation that only it could give me. I felt an arm clutch my chest, the frigid sensation freezing me to my bones, only for it to be replaced by a tendril that seared my flesh with pleasure, my cry slowing into a long, desperate moan.
Then another tendril, and another wrapped itself around me, further up, trailing up my neck until they clung to my cheeks, teasing my parted and drooling lips open further. My body shuddered with pleasure and arousal as it drew ever closer to my head, my ears burning with desire and humiliation as the cold tendrils tickled at the surface, until they slipped in.
My legs were clenched so tightly, my entire body so tense that I barely registered the piercing pressure in my head. It grew, and grew, my eyes crossed and pulled to the back of my head, until everything went white, a pure, blistering white-hot arousal like a vice around my heart and mind, my throat only able to howl and scream. My legs trembled with aftershocks that didn’t fade, that only grew stronger and stronger as wave after wave of pure sensation fractured my mind with raw heat and need.
Slowly the warmth began to fade, its intrusions into my mind making themselves known, almost as if they were digging…deeper. I twitched and jerked as it held me down, but the physical restraint was nothing compared to the sheer unbearable pressure in my mind so strong I couldn’t form the words to beg it to stop.
It faded, along with my own body heat. I shivered against the ice-cold touch, almost expecting to see my breath with every gasp. So cold. It was so…numb, and cold, and…I watched in horror as my fingers trembled, my entire body paralyzed and…distant. Gone. As if I wasn’t even controlling it.
“I cannhh…feeeeell…” I groaned, terror setting in as I realized I couldn’t even feel my fingers moving, my voice in my throat, anything. All I could feel were its tendrils in my mind, the pain bringing me to tears. What it gave me, it could take away, and then some. My sensations slowly whittled away into nothing, my vision dimming to black, even my hearing slowly fading into a high-pitched whine. I was nothing but a broken soul swimming in a sea of distant pain.
My hearing returned just in time to hear my voice…giggling? Laughing through gasps of pain?
It hit me, all at once, the warmth flooding back into me, my fingers moving again, feeling myself breathe, feeling everything accompanied with the all-too familiar throb of arousal that tore my breath away from me in quick, shuddering gasps. The sensations so much and so intense that I couldn’t help but laugh wildly in between my gasps and screams of pleasure. I loved it. I loved being able to feel. I loved feeling every muscle in my body sore, once tense with fear and anxiety now clenched in pleasure nearly as tight as its grasp on my soft and bruised body, as its control over my mind.
And then…slowly at first, but more and more noticeably, the feelings began to slip away once more. I cried out in alarm.
“Please,” I sobbed, “don’t take it away again. I, I’ll do…” I hesitated. Was I willing to sell my soul to…whatever it was?
My voice died on my lips, and I realized if I didn’t say it now I wouldn’t get a chance to, not with the numbness returning, not when I was being sent back to…nothingness.
I wouldn’t have a soul left at this rate.
“Anything…!” I tried to scream at the top of my lungs, the effort trickling into a faint whisper. “Anything, anything, any–”
And with another thrust, I felt it deeper, so hopelessly entangled inside my mind that I wondered if it’d ever be able to leave, the thought rapidly eclipsed by fireworks of pleasure bursting, wringing my body out of all its strength, my squeals of gratification fading into lazy, content sighs, fading into pure, unadulterated bliss that thrummed throughout my body like a live wire, even as I ran out of the energy to vocalize my prayers to the gods for more.
Anything. I’d give anything, to hold onto this. I couldn’t let this slip away from me again. And as I felt something, some foreign intrusion pierce into my very soul, I realized with glee that it’d never leave, either.