I threw my keys in the direction of the table as I stumbled through the front door, wincing as I heard them miss their mark. No fretting right now. Mental checklist - door, locked. Wallet, here. Phone, here. Light, on.

 

Okay. Now time to fret.

 

I let out the sigh I’d been holding earlier as I dragged myself to go looking for the keys on the floor. Another wasted evening. How was it this hard to meet people in a new city? I grabbed the keys off the ground in frustration, lifting myself back up with a renewed determination as I slumped onto the couch, shoes still on. Maybe tomorrow.

 

It was a me problem, that much I was aware. Every time I went somewhere I felt like people were noticing me, judging me. Tonight I’d gone to trivia night at a local restaurant I’d already grown familiar with, but seeing the same waitress I’d always seen flash me a smile and offer to seat me at the bar made me freeze up. “No, I’m actually here to play trivia with these people who I don’t know who’ve already split into teams”? And look pitiful and out of place? The waitress was nice. She’d made conversation the last few times I was there. I didn’t want her seeing me so awkward and out of place. I wound up ordering a drink (or three) while watching, scrolling listlessly at my phone in between rounds.

 

And here I was now, still alone, and feeling awkward and out of place. In my own apartment. My watch read 9:15 PM. I’d intended to stay out later, but grew bored of trivia I couldn’t participate in. Not to mention the waitress checking in on me every so often.

 

That’s what it was! I shot up straight with a revelation. I kept freaking out about people knowing and judging me, like the waitress. I could hardly let go and be myself at work functions. Even when my new coworkers had recommended me fun weekend events downtown, the possibility they’d be there always made me feel more reserved. I needed to go somewhere where no one knew me. Having only moved here a month ago, that’d be almost anywhere. I pulled up maps on my phone as I started walking back towards the front door. Something nearby, walking distance. I tapped around a few places until I found a good match.

 

The night was young, and my shoes were still on. I needed to get out of my apartment. I needed to get out of my own head.

 

Ground Zero. Interesting enough name, and that was all it had going for it. There were only a handful of five-star reviews without any comments that seemed to span a year or so. Something that had been around for a little bit, but wasn’t as well known? As good a chance as any.

 

…Was what I had hoped, if I could find the damn place. I was already out of my depth looking for a little known place in a new city, and certainly more out of depth looking around dark alleyways. The maps satellite image was all but black with the slightest hint of color in a graffiti in the corner of an…

 

Arrow. Pointing right. As good a chance as any. Following the admittedly suspicious arrow with my eyes, I spotted an innocuous, unlabeled door. As I gingerly creaked the door open, hoping I wasn’t entering the back of a restaurant or a stealthy apartment entrance, a neon light flooded the air. As if worried I’d let it all out, I quickly slipped in, gently closing the door behind me.

 

 

The source of the neon light made itself well known against the dark wall and the rest of the dim lighting. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. For as fancy as the front lobby looked, with its plush red velvet flooring, a similarly carpeted curved staircase all the way up to a second floor, and stylistic gothic decorations hanging on the walls, it had the most cliché of signs. I darted my eyes around the room looking for more direction. Sure, it was a nice looking place, but what else was there? I spotted two people talking by the corner, someone who looked like an employee sitting at a raised desk to the right, and a woman in a well-fitted white suit nursing a drink, leaned into a conversation as if they had been the best of friends for years. I felt my stomach start to sink as the familiar fear of being on the outskirts of cliques started to spread once more.

 

“Ah, a new face!” The employee straightened up with a customer service smile, and the patron turned to me with an amused smile.

 

“Oh! Uh, hello.” I hadn’t expected to be so summarily greeted. “I found you on maps, and thought I’d, visit…” Clumsy words, as if I needed to explain why I was at a bar. So stupid. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

 

“Could I see your Member ID, or if you have your number by chance?”

 

“I—” This was a members-only establishment? “Sorry, I didn’t see anything about uh, the members-only…” I stuttered. I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have tried going out tonight after all.

 

“No worries, Marissa. She’s with me now.” In a single confident stride, the well-dressed woman raised the back of my hand to her lips. “Cheers.” God, now my cheeks were really flushed.

 

“With you?” Marissa looked confused, until her eyes lit up. “Oh, okay! With you. I see. Well, have a great time with Dee!” She waved cheerily as I found myself pulled towards the rest of the club further in.

 

“Y-You don’t have to—” I tried protesting.

 

“Nonsense,” my savior said with a smile. “Let somebody do something for you for once.”

 

Dee. Her name is Dee, I repeated in my head. How rude would it be to have to ask her name again later? Wait. What did she mean by that just now?

 

“Watch your step, hun.”

 

I yelped as I nearly tripped on the newfound hard flooring, the sound almost drowned out by music growing louder and louder as we approached what must have been the main club floor. For all its noise and fun laser lighting, there didn’t seem to be many people there.

 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Second floor is for VIPs, that’s the main club floor. But, we’re this way, cutie.” She’d been holding my hand this entire time, I realized with a flush, as we dove in under half curtains which gave way to a small circular booth. She slid in, beckoning me to join her.

 

“Thanks,” I said lamely, sliding in by her side. “I guess I’m your uh, guest?”

 

“You don’t sound particularly pleased by that.” Dee raised an eyebrow as she took a sip from her glass. “Might I have crossed a boundary?”

 

“No, I mean—well,” I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. “Thank you. Really. I would’ve just left, if you hadn’t taken advantage—”

 

“Advantage?” Dee remarked, setting her drink down. “I would never, sweetheart.” She unclasped the curtains and closed them from her side of the booth. “Just for the privacy.”

 

“Advantage of the situation, I meant.” I wished she wouldn’t interrupt me. “Also, I meant to ask, you keep…” Being nice? Calling me pet names?

“Hm? Ah – we never quite got to the introduction stage, and I’m afraid I don’t know your name yet, hun.”

 

My face burned. Of course it was my fault. “I—”

 

“I think I quite like it like this, don’t you?” Dee wrapped an arm around me, bringing me in closer. “It means we get to talk and get to know one another in the ways that really matter.”

 

She’d made herself so comfortable with me, as if we’d known each other for ages – it made me wonder how close she and the employee Marissa earlier had really been. At the very least, she was enough of an established member for employees to look the other way and just allow her to take me in as a surprise guest. I didn’t really know how strict the members-only establishment was in the first place.

 

“So…” I stretched and wriggled in my seat, subtly shrugging her hand off of my shoulder and making more room for myself. “I take it this is a members-only club, that has non-member nights, or something…?”

 

“It’s invite-only, actually. Only members, and all potential members are referred by existing members.” Dee seemed absent-minded as she swished around the remnants of her drink before setting it back down.

 

“What? How does that work? Surely this place doesn’t stay in business…”

 

“We make do. We’re a private establishment, so public business doesn’t matter as much to us. The point isn’t growth, it’s maintaining the space for members.”

 

I could respect that kind of business model. At the very least, Dee had been so welcoming to me earlier that I wasn’t feeling any of the usual anxieties about being left out or unable to join a friend group. Maybe a membership here would lead me to the right place.

 

“Well… I’d like to support it, at least. How does a girl buy a drink around here?”

 

“She lets me order for her.” Dee flashed a smile.

 

I blushed somehow deeper than before. God, I was never going to go back to normal at this rate. “Is that a members ritual, or…?”

 

“So you’re interested?” Dee’s face was close to mine, almost too close.

 

“I—”

 

“Drinks, madam?” Our brief moment of intimacy was interrupted by a soft voice from outside. All I could see were the feet of the employee, wishing I’d paid more attention to Marissa at the front. At least if I could invite her in to chat with us, it wouldn’t just be Dee and I, and I’d make another friend.

 

“Oh, uh—"

 

“An old-fashioned for me, and a house special for our guest.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

Dee moved back towards her seat and turned to me, apologetic. “Sorry, hun. I try to get the drink order out quick for their time, and I didn’t assume you’d want what I had. Besides, a house special is kind of the tradition for newbies like you.”

 

I couldn’t argue with that. I swallowed the lump of uncertainty in my throat. Tonight was about new experiences and trying new things. Doing the same usual things hadn’t gotten me anywhere, and in the span of half an hour I’d already found a new bar, a members-only one at that, and gotten a member interested enough to welcome me in.

 

“Earlier,” I started hesitantly, “when you said to let someone do something for me for once… Do you know me from somewhere?”

 

“I don’t believe I do, no. But I’d like to.” Dee winked. “I just know your type.”

 

“My…type?”

 

“Scared, shy, but trying their best. Cute.”

 

I couldn’t help but pout at the infantilization.

 

“I’d wager this is all a very new experience for you.”

 

“It’s not every day you find a members-only club like this.” I shot back. “This would be a new experience for anyone.”

 

“Well, that’s what I’m here for. To introduce you to this place, to new opportunities.”

 

“It’s a little scary.” I tried to tease back.

 

“You know what they say. Bad decisions—”

 

“-make better stories,” I offered, remembering the sign.

 

Dee raised an eyebrow with a grin. “What I was saying,” she murmured as she scooted closer to me in the booth, “is that bad decisions are great choices.” She casually put an arm over my shoulder, bringing me closer. “What better demonstrates our individuality and personality like doing something that might not sound like a good idea, but definitely sounds like a fun one?”

 

I laughed, resigned. “Well, if there’s anything I’m learning today, it’s that there’s a lot of unknown ground to cover.”

 

“So we’d better get started on it, you think?” I turned towards Dee and found myself face to face with her, our noses almost touching. When had she gotten this close?

 

“…Yeah,” I whispered softly. The close proximity, the dull sound of music outside, the insulation of the room made it feel more intimate, somehow, like speaking at normal volume would break the spell.

 

“Then,” she whispered back in turn as she moved towards my ear, “focus on me, and only me.” She nibbled my ear playfully, which would have normally elicited a yelp - but not tonight. Not right now, at least. Right now, I had to be quiet.

 

…

 

“…still there, kitten?”

 

“…Hwuhh? Wha?” I groaned as I instinctively nuzzled into the fabric to wipe away my drool.

 

“Oh yeah, you are.” I felt large, safe hands brush my bangs back, smoothing and petting my hair. “Let me see those eyes.”

 

I peered upwards at Dee…I averted my eyes back down, to her suit, to her chest, the warmth against my face…—shit—

 

Her hand stayed firm as I tried to lift myself off in vain, weaker than I would’ve liked. What was wrong with me?

 

“Mm, yes… those pretty, faraway eyes. Poor baby, must’ve been so tired…”

 

“Did I…” I murmured, “fall asleep? On you?”

 

“No.” Dee sounded like she was biting back a laugh. “You were just really, focused.”

 

“Focus…ed…?” Even if I hadn’t fallen asleep on her, I felt exhausted.

 

“You are tired though, that I can see. To conk out so quickly, you’ve got the makings…” She mused to herself, muttering under her breath.

 

I squirmed in place, her hand still holding me firmly against her. “Can- Can I come up now?”

 

“No.”

 

As if glass slammed against a wall, my thoughts were scattered violently, splintering into fragments of words. “I…” what? I what? I what? “Wh…what?”

 

“Poor kitten, I’m trying to help you relax. You want to relax, don’t you?”

 

I nodded against her chest, allowed just enough space to do that, but somehow not enough space to shake my head if I wanted to. Couldn’t fathom wanting to.

 

“And you’ve mentioned how tired you are, how exhausted you feel… What was it I said earlier, dear? Just let someone do something for you for once?”

 

Nod.

 

“Then let me do this for you, baby. Let me help you relax. Let me relax for you, breathe for you, rest, for you. Let me think for you.”

 

“I will.” I hadn’t said that.

 

“I…will.” I had.

 

“Good girl, sleepy girl, tired girl, stupid girl.” Dee’s arm slid down my body, pressing against clothes, caressing the exposed skin of my arms and lowering towards my waist, my thigh, inwards, close, too close… I tried to clench my thighs together, but was swiftly interrupted by a safe, warm hand pushing one thigh away and holding the other further open.

 

“Vulnerability is good, sweetheart. We’ve talked about how you are—sweet, shy, trying your best…but it hasn’t been working until now, has it?” I furrowed my brow in distress. “It hasn’t been working out, but tonight you tried something different, tried something new… made great choices. Let someone do something for you.” She raised the back of my head as she kissed down my neck, lingering with her tongue. “And it’s worked out tonight, hasn’t it?”

 

I could only shiver in response, my skin sensitive and all too aware of her fingers teasing around my inner thigh.

 

“Bad decisions make you feel so, so good, don’t they?” She rubbed in between my legs.

 

I gasped against her, the only way to give a resounding yes as I willed my body to grind against her but couldn’t find the strength. It was all I could do to barely hang onto consciousness as I felt assaulted with the sound of her words in my ear, her touch, the smell of her skin against my face, her grin, oh, she’s so pleased with me, the taste of a bitter old fashioned against my lips… when had we kissed? Every sense was dominated by Dee, belonged to her, all of my senses, all of my thoughts in her service…

 

“Ah, sweetheart. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go for a moment, but I promise I’ll be back.” I felt the warmth of security fade away as Dee propped me up against the booth and slid away, despite my pitiful feeble pleas not to.

 

“Open your eyes, kitten.” I did, my vision coming together into focus for what felt like the first time tonight. Dee looked concerned. “Try and collect yourself. Go wander around the club, see what else there is to see. I’ll pick you back up soon. Stand up now, hun.” She grabbed and pulled my arm up until I stood, struggling to balance myself, feeling somehow dizzy. She pat my butt twice as if to usher me out with her, and I watched her go down the hallway back towards the lobby opposite from the rest of the club with a sense of forlorn. I…missed her already.

 

I walked towards the bar, trying to shake my head clear as if rattling my head would make my thoughts fall back into place. What was I talking about? It’s not like it was Dee’s job to babysit me, or keep me company, or… Besides, she was—I’d only known her what, five minutes? I checked my phone.

 

“Dee’s guest?” I looked up right as my feet found the counter of the bar, grabbing onto it as I barely stopped myself from crashing. The bartender looked almost sympathetic, if not somewhat patronizing.

 

“This one’s for you. House special.” She set a pink cocktail on a napkin in front of me.

 

“No, I—” I offered lamely. “Y-yes, Dee’s guest. It’s my first drink. I haven’t had any tonight—uh, not since earlier—I’m not, I’m not drunk.” I managed to stutter out, barely believing myself.

 

“I know, sweetheart.”

 

I felt myself bristle at the name. “My name is—”

 

The bartender waved me off. “I’ll remember it once you’re worth remembering. Come again sometime and we’ll see.” She walked away to the other side where other patrons were waiting to order.

 

The fucking nerve!! I took my anger out on the drink, gulping it down and slamming the glass back on the counter. I shouldn’t be treated less than a person just because I wasn’t a member. Even Dee had said something similar. I grumbled, my frustration softening.

 

I missed Dee.

 

I walked around the club, saw the dance floor, a few poles for entertainment events, likely. A pool table in one corner, though no one was there. There were a few people lingering around, though most were sitting at an assortment of tables. I felt a brief wave of dizziness before I stumbled myself towards a chair at a table for stability. A wave of lightheadedness overcame me as I sat, nursing my head between my hands. Maybe I’d drank it too fast. Dee told me to collect myself, but it wasn’t getting any better. My thoughts felt so chaotic, so impossible to arrange…

 

I took a deep breath in. You were supposed to remember sights and sounds and senses to calm down, or something. The taste of the drink on my tongue…pleasantly sweet, with the distinct taste of alcohol. Earlier, it had been bitter with the taste of the old fashioned on Dee’s lips…

 

The music, which was now playing at a lower volume. The sound of it muffled by the curtains as Dee was whispering into my ear.

 

The table, cool to the touch and the air conditioning blowing against my hair gently. A contrast to how warm and soft and safe I had been earlier in Dee’s embrace.

 

The sight of colored lights pulsing and weaving in different patterns, almost hypnotic, and yet not as alluring as an all-white outfit, pristine pants and Dee’s tailored suit I had drooled on… I tried to shake the memory away.

 

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even shake my head, physically. I felt my heartbeat pound in between my head, the dizziness only getting worse. If I shook my head, I felt like I’d fall over. I stood up gingerly in a slow panic. I had to get somewhere, maybe the bathroom, anywhere else…

 

I could feel my vision blurring, my arms heavy and stiff. “Whh…” My mouth wouldn’t move right. Nothing was. I felt light as I fell backwards anyway into another bar patron, almost too confused and dizzy to be embarrassed. I heard peals of laughter from the group around her as she chuckled and gently pushed me back upright. Almost, I thought with a flush.

 

A full body flush. My skin sensitive and warm to the touch, or at least I’d have assumed from how hot my entire body felt. I started panting as if to cool myself down like a dog, I thought, but it wasn’t working. The room felt suffocating, too intense, the idle sounds and lights blurring together but the laughter crystal clear, what was so funny, was it the TV? Was it me—

 

“Looks like someone’s had a bit too much to drink.” Dee’s voice came rumbling from behind me, her hands propping my shoulders the most stable and solid I’d felt in a hot minute. A hot hour. How long had it been, anyway?

 

“I only…” my voice faltered. “I only had one, drrr, drrrink,” I slurred.

 

“Which one?”

 

“The, the one you said… the one you recommmemmennded to me,” I stammered, fighting back a giggle at the butchered sentence.

 

“Oh, good girl,” she whispered in my ear, her tone low and hushed and…excited. Far different from the friendly confident voice that called out to me, different even from the playful flirting earlier. Almost like another person. Someone dangerous? But Dee would never be dangerous. Right? Maybe my confidence was unfounded. An hour ago, she was a complete stranger. How- how long had I been here?

 

“It’s been about an hour, yeah,” Dee replied, amused.

 

“Oh… I diddnn mean to say out louudd,” I giggled. “Sorryyy.” God, if only my mouth worked. I sounded so much more stupid out loud.

 

“I don’t think that’s true, baby.” Dee rested her chin against the crook of my neck as her arms wrapped around me. “I think you sound exactly like…how you are, I should say.”

 

Had I said that out loud, too?

 

“It’s been about half an hour since you had the drink, by the way, if you were trying to count that.”

 

“Was…” A glimmer of a thought passed by. “Was there, something in it?”

 

“Nothing that wasn’t supposed to be in it, hun,” she reassured me. “You’re okay. You’re a little more than okay.”

 

“I don’t feel like it,” I grumbled, putting on my most emphatic pout.

 

“Poor thing, do you want to go somewhere more private then? Feeling self-conscious here? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

 

I squirmed in her grasp, uncomfortable. It was so warm. It was so hot. I was practically sweating, and she was just stifling me more. Part of me felt like going somewhere else was a bad idea. But if I did, it probably wouldn’t be as warm, and it’d feel better. Yes, it’d feel better. It’d feel so much better.

 

I nodded. It was impossible to shake my head, anyway.

 

“You seem a bit unsteady on your feet, so…let me take care of you,” Dee cooed with a smile. I squealed as Dee swept me off my feet, her arms underneath my knees and neck. It was quickly followed by a groan, my eyes all but rolled back as my head caught up to the rapid motion, swimming with dizziness and light-headed in a way that made thinking impossible. My limp hand knocked against something, and I willed my vision to focus for even a second. Red. Feeling the vibrations of Dee’s movement against my body, I faintly realized we were going up the stairs to the second floor I had seen earlier. For VIPs. My eyes slipped back shut, too tired to focus anymore, and I felt my mind, slipping, too—

 

 

I felt something wrapped around my body, then slipped off as I fell backwards onto cool, comfortable silk sheets. I hummed happily to myself as I rubbed my back against them, the cold feeling refreshing against my skin.

 

I drunkenly sat up and hugged my arms instinctively. Cold. My shirt was gone. I fell backwards as my balance was knocked off once more from beneath me, my pants being pulled off as well. The sudden knock back caught up to me as my thoughts scattered once more, and I—

 

 

Feel even colder. Feels cold. I shivered. But warm. Warmth, under my head. With great difficulty, I opened my eyes and looked up into Dee, an enigmatic grin playing upon her lips.

 

“Those are the eyes I want to see.”

 

“My…eyes?” I said, dumbly.

 

“Something like that.” She brushed the hair from my eyes. So safe and secure.

I realized her lap was the source of warmth.

 

“Stick out your tongue.”

 

I did. I didn’t see any reason not to.

 

She placed something small on my tongue and put a small flask of pink to my lips, upside down. I had no choice but to swallow as much of it as I could as I tried not to let any of it spill. I didn’t want to ruin her pants.

 

I gasped for air as she took away the drink. “Wha…?” I looked at her inquisitively, unable to put words to my question but hoping she’d understand.

 

“More of the drink you had below. You seemed to like it. I’m told you downed it all at once.” Dee flicked my nipple.

 

I yelped. I arched my neck up, looking down towards my body. My bra was gone, my nipples sensitive little beads. I hadn’t had my bra for a while now?

 

“No, I mean—” She flicked the other, and I gasped.

 

“That’s a little something I call, a bad decision.” She sounded as flirty as usual, but with a darker, more serious undertone. Something that made me feel uncomfortable.

 

“I don’t—” I didn’t feel comfortable. “I didn’t…” Maybe if the drink had taken half an hour to hit, then…

 

“Stupid girl.” She pinched both nipples at once, and my voice croaked as I screamed. “The drink takes half an hour, yes. The pill is a bit more efficient.” I gasped for breath as I felt my entire body catch fire as my nerves worked themselves into overdrive.

 

“And my words? They’re forever, kitten.” Even the sound of her voice felt like it was driving me insane.

 

“I don’t, I don’t like this. I want to leave.” The mere sensation of tears rolling down my cheek made my skin feel maddingly sensitive. “It’s, it’s too much— ch- ch- ch—”

 

 

“…Ah.” I exclaimed softly. My vision came back into focus. When had it been blurred?

 

“Did you go away, sweetheart? Fly away? Somewhere far?” Dee gingerly brushed against my nipples. My eyes rolled back.

 

 

“…Nngghh!” I woke up with a start, my hips mid-process of grinding against Dee’s fingers. I felt my head go dizzy again, my hearing starting to fade into a soft, high-pitched whine.

 

“Oh no you don’t.” Dee said between gritted teeth. “Stay awake.”

 

My eyes shot back open, instinctively focusing on Dee’s.

 

“Good girl,” she cooed softly.

 

I felt tears rolling back through my hair. “I’m-I’m-I’m—”

 

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Don’t you remember? Bad decisions make you feel so, so good.”

 

I felt the heat gnaw away between my legs, throughout my entire body. I felt my consciousness start to fly away before it slammed back into reality, focusing on Dee’s eyes. I couldn’t even pass out. The sheer arousal was so strong it almost felt like pain. The overwhelming sensation of it all began to grind against my consciousness. I felt pieces of myself dissolving. My breath hitched in my throat out of fear. I was—I was going to disappear. If I stayed here, I was going to—my eyes rolled back and refocused on Dee at lightning speed. Dee’s eyes were twisted with pleasure and cruelty.

 

“I can’t, I can’t I can’t!” I whimpered, begging. “I—I can’t, it’s—” my eyes unfocused and refocused again, the sheer effort ripping my thoughts apart. “I—Dee—Please!”

 

“Please, what?” Her fingers stopped their ministrations.

 

“I need…” My voice came out calm, collected, dissociated. My eyes were wide, staring at Dee, but not seeing anything. “I need to…I’m disappearing.” The part of me that could feel embarrassed burned into ashes. “It feels so good I’m going to die,” I whispered. “Please let me leave.”

 

“You want to disappear? That sounds like…a bad decision, kitten.” Dee brushed against my clit over my soaked panties, eliciting another anguished wail. “Are you sure? I don’t promise you’ll ever come back.”

 

The part of me that could speak had already been crushed into an agonized, lust-filled scream. I nodded furiously, the last of my energy expended as my head lolled back against her lap.

 

“Uh oh,” Dee exclaimed. “Goodbye.”

 

My vision went white as I felt an orgasm violently ripped out of my limp body, without even any energy to clench or twitch. My cunt clenching unwillingly was the only movement my body could muster, the arousal burning my body all the way to my toes and fingertips. Faintly, I heard a wanton slut screaming and giggling madly. As if she’d lost her sense of self. As if she’d lost her mind.

 

 

“Didn’t that feel good, baby?” Dee wiped my still-flowing tears away with her finger gently, even the sensation of her finger against my cheeks almost too much to bear. Her soft touch turned into agony as she grabbed my chin between her fingers roughly. She tsked. “Say something, stupid slut.”

 

“…Yes.” Escaped my throat, a voice that no longer felt like mine, hoarse and raw from screaming and cumming.

 

“Bad decisions make better stories, and they feel so, so good.” Her other hand played with the waistband of my panties. “Imagine what it feels like without this.”

 

I found myself smiling through the tears. I looked up at her with desperation.

 

Dee looked down at me, amused. “Yes? Show me what you’d like, or at least use your words.”

 

My fingers trembled with effort by my side, but fell flat.

 

“Hm, perhaps you’ve taken to the idea of physical exhaustion a bit too well. You need to get out of your own head, return to your baser instincts…” She mused. “We’re sending you away for a bit again.” She placed both of her hands around my ears. I couldn’t help but feel a deep fear, mixed in with the pleasure and arousal, a twisted knot in my stomach begging for more.

 

“Get a slut high, and they’re dumb as rocks in your hands.” She shook my head violently, my thoughts, flakes of my soul crumbling—

 

 

“…Fuck, more, more, yes, yes, yes!”

 

“Say you’re a stupid girl.” Dee gasped, her voice a lust-filled venom.

 

“I’m a stupid slut—slut—SLUT!” A staccato voice filled the air of the private bedroom.

 

“I didn’t tell you to say that, you stupid- slut!” Dee grunted as she thrust in deeper.

 

I gasped, the air and inhibitions knocked out of me. Her body was wrapped around mine, my fingers and nails digging into the sheets, my legs spread open, flopping against her back limply with each thrust.

 

“Fuck, I’m cumming—!” I managed to eke out before it turned into another crazed shriek, my body seizing up and twitching along to the puppet strings Dee had so obviously planted deep within me.

 

“That’s the most lucid you’ve sounded in the past hour,” Dee breathed, her breath hot and sensitive against my ear. “Is my little kitten back?”

 

I laughed despite myself, despite everything. A nervous laugh like something had broken, and couldn’t be put back together. “Back, where? Where did I go?”

 

“Oh, you know—away!” Dee uttered with another thrust, shattering another thought into dust. She slowly detangled herself from my body, weakened and gasping and vulnerable and no longer mine.

 

“Does she want to go away again?” Dee rattled a small container, my world narrowing down around the sound of pills clacking against one another.

 

I reached a hand up, grabbing, as if desperate.

 

“Bad decisions…” Dee started.

 

“Good!!” I blurted out. “Bad decisions, good, make me feel good, feel good, you make me feel good.” I found the strength to sit up and mustered it to grasp Dee with my whole body. “I love you. I love you. You make me feel so good.” I felt drool trail down my chin. “Please, I want to go away. I want to leave.” I whispered in awe. “I want you to take me away.”

 

“Stick out your tongue.”

 

And I did, lovingly.

 

She shook the container a few times into my mouth and forced the drink down my throat once more, discarding the empty glass to the side.

 

“What was that you said earlier?” Dee murmured softly into my ear as she raised my hips to hers once more. I wrapped my arms around her body again as each thrust forcibly whited out pieces of me at a time.

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much!! I love—”

 

And I felt the rest of myself graciously, finally, disappear.

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