It was a fine spring day as Grug tightened his flimsy loincloth around his waist and picked out his favorite stick. He stretched himself at the mouth of his cave looking out into the unblemished boreal wilderness, curling his bare, calloused toes on the rough, stony ground.

“Ooga!” said the caveman, greeting the new day.

Grug took a great inhale through his cavernous nostrils and winced. He sniffed at his hairy body and felt a wave of nausea overcome him. Staggering back, he smacked himself in the head to get rid of the unpleasant odor.

Looks like it was that time of year again. Grug coughed and started trouncing down to the river. It was the perfect spring day for his annual bath.

As Grug neared the flowing water, his ears picked up the sound of female laughter and it stirred a peculiar restlessness inside of him. He crept closer to the riverbank and peered through the bushes, his eyes catching sight of something most wonderful.

It was Klarra, the dark-haired beauty from the other clan across the river. She was splashing and frolicking with her clan sisters and enjoying the inviting weather. She tossed her matted, greasy hair and scrubbed sand over her muscular, hairy legs.

Naturally, Grug was immediately smitten. But when the statuesque female bent over, flaring her sturdy hips and giving Grug a winning view of her puffy mating lips between her legs, he practically jumped out of his skin. His loincloth flapped as his mating stick grew large and stiff.

Clearly, the desirable woman was showing off to entice Grug. His brain would allow no other interpretation. The situation was obviously a delicate one and would require every ounce of Grug’s suave courtship skills.

“OOGA! OOGA-OOGA!!” the large, hairy man hollered as he crashed into the river water, spraying the entire group of females with his entry splash. He flailed his way through the current, holding his stick high over his head, for balance, while he made as much noise as possible.

He had to be sure he was attracting her attention.

“Oooga! Ooga! OOGAA!!” he politely shouted.

The females let out a blood-curdling cry and ran to the shore, grabbing rocks and sticks. Klarra wielded thee weighty leg bone of a mammoth, waving the bulbous head at him like a club.

Grug hesistated. What could ever be the matter? Weren’t these females happy to see a virile male like Grug?  Then it struck him. He hadn’t done his mating dance yet. He waded into the shallows and made sure that Klarra and the other females were still watching before slapping the water with his stick. He kicked and beat his chest, whipping his stick onto the water again and again, shouting at the tops of his lungs.

“Ooga! OOOOGGAAA!!”

Finally, with a surge of confidence, Grug whipped back his loin cloth, presenting his mating stick in its full glory. Clearly the females were impressed, judging by how they were sniggering and pointing. To make sure his intentions were clear, Grug rolled his hips, thrusting his stick in the air while he trained his eyes on Klarra.

The curvy female crossed her arms over her big flesh melons covered by her gray-brown wolf pelt and coldly watched Grug strut out of the water. The caveman walked up to her, flashing a large smile full of yellow-brown teeth, and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Errr…ooga?” he asked, boldly.

A half hour later, Grug nursed the five swollen lumps on his thick skull where Klarra had smacked him with her bone club. He couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. Females could be so unreasonable sometimes.

Grug sulked his way to his favorite cave to think things over. He always did his best thinking in one particular cave filled with the strange, shiny, clear rocks that grew out of the cave walls in blunt points, like a wild cat’s teeth. Grug took pride in his big thinking muscle and was endlessly impressed with his own mental agility.

For instance, through careful observation, Grug had determined that if he killed one antelope and then went to kill another, he would invariably end up with two dead antelopes.

Brilliant!

Another of his ingenious discoveries claimed that light from the bright fire in the sky could make things warm and dry given enough time. But what occupied Grug’s busy mind the most was the suspicious correlation between mating and the tiny, weak creatures that fell out of the females a few seasons later when their bellies had grown large and round. It almost seemed that mating was the cause of these puny creatures who constantly cried for the females’ melon juice, but this was still only a theory.

As Grug pondered these and other deep mysteries of the world, his eyes wandered to the shiny, pointy crystals lining the cave walls. One particularly large, slender crystal caught his attention, its smooth facets leading his gaze to its finely pointed tip. The more he sat and stared at the crystal, the quieter his mind became as a warm feeling of happiness washed over him. He would have stayed like that for days had a massive beetle not flown into Grug’s gaping mouth.

The caveman chokend and sputtered, trying to dislodge the huge insect from his throat. At last, he gave up and crunched it down as a high-protein snack. He shook his head, realizing that he had been staring at the crystal unable to make his thinking muscle work for a long time. It was as if the crystal…shut off a person’s ability to think.

Grug took in this information carefully. His mind wandered back to Klarra bare hips as she splashed in the river.

Then he thought of the crystals that could make someone stop thinking…

Then he thought of Klarra’s bouncy flesh melons under her wolf-skin pelt…

Then he thought of the crystals…

Then he thought of Klarra…

Grug whined and knocked his fists against his head. He was certain he was close to a ground-breaking revelation, but he just couldn’t piece it together yet.

He hollered in frustration and crashed his fist into the cave wall. A large chunk of crystal hanging above his head shook loose and clonked into his skull.

Grug’s eyes lit up as all the pieces of his scheme finally fell into place.

“OOGA!” He shouted in triumph. He bent down and picked up the crystal that had broken off. It was almost as long as his hand and ended in a slender point. The mere sight of it threatened to shut Grug’s thinking muscle off again.

The caveman grasped the crystal firmly in his hands and made his way back down to the river.

He found Klarra stooping around the riverbanks, looking for shellfish under the rocks. He walked out of the bushes waving at her amiably.

“Ooga!” he greeted.

Klarra jumped to her feet, brandishing her bone-club at him. She cast him a look of warning.

“Ooga! Ooga ooga-ga!” she said assertively.

Grug took a step back, out of range of the heavy club. “Ooga! Ooga ooga ooga,” he explained. He slowly lifted his hand to show her the long, pretty crystal, its gleaming facets converging into a single point that drew Klarra’s eyes.

The female looked at the crystal, confused and slightly curious, wondering why it was so easy to stare at the pretty…shiny…rock…

Grug moved the crystal to the side. Klarra’s head turned with it. He moved it up and down, dragging Klarra’s face along, her eyes glued to the pointy tip.

“Ooga?....Ooga?” Grug probed cautiously.

“…Oooooo-gaaaaa…” the cavewoman replied, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide and empty. Grug took a cautious step closer. Klarra’s bone-club hung from her limp fingers. He very slowly reached out and pulled the club away. Klarra didn’t object, she only continued to stare vacantly at the pretty crystal.

“Ooga. Ooga ooga….ooga ooga…” Grug commanded.

“Ooga ooga…ooga ooogaaaa…” Klarra mumbled submissively.

Grug bit his lip, fighting to keep his anticipation from getting the better of him. He slowly reached for Klarra’s hand, wrapping her fingers around the crystal for her. He moved her hands so her eyes were nearly crossed, riveted to the pretty crystal. Her forearms were folded against her chest as she stood, swaying slightly in the breeze. Grug stepped back, admiring his work, and could help but notice how Klarra’s stiff arms smooshed her milk melons against her body, making them seem even bigger.

Grug knew better than to waste his time. He reached behind Klarra and collected her tangled locks in his huge fist before yanking her by the hair. The sensation of getting her hair pulled by the powerful male did something to Klarra’s head and her eyes rolled up into her head. Grug dragged her stumbling body into her forests while the once proud female followed along meekly, the sparkly crystal still clutched in her hands.

“…Ooooogggaaaaa…”Klarra mumbled sleepily as Grug dragged her by the hair.

Grug led her to a small clearing and pulled her to her feet. He yanked the crystal back from her, making sure to keep the thought-stealing rock in front of her eyes. Grug pulled at the cloth covering Klarra’s chest and stared as her two full melons bounced free. He reached his hand out, lifting and fondling the massive lumps of flesh filled with creamy milk. Like round, beautiful coconuts. For some reason, touching and playing with the two big melons filled him with delight and he felt his mating stick begin to swell.

Klarra just kept staring at the crystal as Grug held it in front of her with his free hand, the slight smile curling on her lips indicating that she was enjoying the sensation as well.

“Oo-…ooooo-ggaaaaaahhh…” she smiled dreamily. Grug continued to test the weight and softness of each of Klarra’s melons, noticing he was experiencing more of the fuzzy feeling he got when he had stared at the crystal.

He shook his head, remembering he had urgent business to get to. He brandished the crystal above Klarra’s head, making her crane her neck up.

“Ooga,” Grug began, “Ooga ooga. Ooga ooga ooooga ooooga ooga ooooggaaaa…” he cooed into her ear.

Klarra just smiled blissfully, her eyes never leaving the crystal. “Oooooo-gggaaaa…” she mindlessly agreed, his sinister intentions lost on her.

Grug was about to have her bend over so he could slap his stick into her mating burrow, but then noticed the other lips on her face slick with drool, her mouth opened just the right amount for his mating stick to slide through. Grug chuckled gleefully as another brilliant idea struck his thinking muscle. Why didn’t her put his stick in Klarra’s mouth? He bet the plump, slippery lips on her face were just as amazing as the ones between her legs.

No female in his clan would ever be willing to do something so ridiculous, until now.

“Ooga! Ooga Ooga!” he told her bluntly, gently pushing her down to her knees.

“ooooogggaaaa…” Klarra said, her eyes unfocused and half lidded. She looked like someone who had eaten too much sweet juice fruit and couldn’t walk straight. He brought the crystal low, letting her eyes focus on the natural point of the rock and then pushed his hard mating stick against her lips. At first it just prodded and pushed against Klarra’s mouth, moving her lips around. Then a primal instinct took over the cavewoman and she automatically wrapped her lips around Grug’s tip and began sucking.

She sucked and watched the crystal, such a soothing, natural action. It didn’t matter that she was sucking Grug’s bloated, musky stick, or kissing his big hairy balls every time she let him slide to the back of her throat. She just didn’t want to use an ounce of mental effort and was happy to watch the shiny crystal, Grug’s amorous face hovering in the background.

Grug, for his part, was having the time of his life. Klarra’s tongue slid around his stick in a way that drove him completely wild and he bucked his hips slightly to meet her mouth, grunting with every thrust.

“Oooga…Oooga…Oooga…”

Klarra’s head rocked back and forth, her eyes nearly crossed as she stayed focused on the beautiful crystal while Grug pushed his stick further down her throat. She mumbled in vague satisfaction as she felt the stick pulse and throb in her mouth, each thrust growing bigger and bigger.

Grug humped Klarra’s face desperately, a rapturous pressure taking hold of his loins.

“Ooga…Oogaaa…OOGAAA!!” Grug yelled as his stick exploded with his white-hot mating juice, spurting load after load into Klarra’s mouth. He roared with pleasure and staggered back, his stick popping out of the cavewoman’s mouth as he fell against a tree, sliding down to the floor.

Klarra stayed on her knees, blinking slowly in the afternoon sun as Grug’s juice ran down her chin. Her eyes wandered in and out of focus, searching for the pretty, compelling crystal that was so good at directing her thoughts for her. She furrowed her brow when she couldn’t find it. Grug had let it fall from his hands to the ground in his moments of orgasm. Instead, all she saw was the despicable male who was still lost in a cloud of bliss, his mating stick wet and floppy between his legs. Klarra wiped away his pungent juice from her chin, her eyes blazing with fury as she stepped towards him.

Grug sighed heavily, a feeling of delicious lethargy flooding his body. He glanced up just in time to see the plate-sized rock in Klarra’s hands as she smashed it into his face.

“OOGAA!!” Klarra yelled.

A few minutes later, Grug was happily watching the pretty birdies flying around his head with a blackened eye, two or three teeth missing from his vapid smile.

Klarra scoffed and kicked the hairy, punch-drunk man over. She was about to head back to the river and join the rest of her sisters when something shiny caught her eye. She glanced down to see the wonderful crystal gleaming back at her. She picked it up, her eyes immediately falling to the slender, faceted point. She couldn’t help but admire the smooth stone, the gleaming sides, the enticing shape. Almost like a male’s hard mating stick. The idea awoke a primal urge deep inside her as she continued to gaze helplessly. All the excitement of the afternoon had left her feeling restless and needy, like she needed to shove something long and satisfying into the mating burrow between her legs.

Her hand drifted back and forth on its own, imitating the soothing rhythm that Grug used to ensnare her. The more she looked, the more she realized she really wanted to slide the pretty, pointed crystal into her burrow. The urge grew stronger and stronger until it dominated her every thought.

“Ooga,” she shrugged and reclined in the hollow of a nearby tree. She wrapped her lips around the cylindrical stone, making sure it was slick and wet, just like an oozing mating stick. She slid the side of the crystal up and down the lips to her burrow, groaning and the intense pleasure that no desperate, clumsy male had ever given her. Tensing her jaw, she slowly fed the crystal into her burrow, squeezing the walls of her womb around the unyielding stone surface. She sighed and chanted to herself as she worked the crystal in and out, sending bursts of pleasure through every inch of her body.

“Oooogaaa…Ooooga…OOOOoooOOOggaaaa!”

She could feel the point of the crystal tickle a special spot inside her before a crashing wave of pleasure overwhelmed her.

“OOOOOGGGAAA!!!” It was like nothing she had ever felt before. She heard some of her sisters make these noises before, sometimes with a male and sometimes alone. She never realized how incredible mating could be without a mate.

“OOGAA! OOGAA! OOOGGAAAA!!” She cried at the top of her voice as one orgasm compounded on another and then another. Klarra was yanking the crystal in and out of her slick burrow, each thrust bringing her to new heights of pleasure, numbing her mind in the same way looking at the beautiful crystal did.

At last, Klarra’s energy waned and she carefully let the stone slide out of her mating burrow, her body basking in the otherworldly joy of her self-inflicted orgasms. She glanced back down at the crystal, smiling vacantly at it in her afterglow. She would just have to keep this little trinket for herself.

As Klarra picked herself up, more than happy to leave Grug unconscious on the forest floor, when a rustle in the bushes made her jump. She turned on her heels and raised the crystal, ready to stab it through the heart of anyone or anything looking for trouble.

“Ooga?” She called out to the intruder.

From the bushes stepped Dura, the long-legged young woman from her clan that followed her around like a coyote puppy. She looked at Klarra with a mask of concern.

“Ooga?” she asked, her bushy eyebrows knitted together.

Klarra glanced at Dura’s soft, delicate form from her dark eyes to her slender, elegant legs as a new hunger roiled within her. Klarra smiled disarmingly at her friend and held up the shiny crystal, pleased to see Dura’s eyes dart to the gleaming facets and stay there. Klarra waved the stone back and forth, giddy as she watched Dura’ head follow the motion.

“Ooogaa…” Klarra murmured in a low, melodic voice. “Oooga OOoooggaaa…”

Dura stared wide-eyed at the crystal, her thoughts quiet and passive.

“…Oooooo-gggaaaaa….”