[A young woman with heavy makeup and pink headphones smiles at the camera, holding a selfie stick to record the video. A radio tower maintenance shed is in the background.]

hi hi, it’s chyme💕! and y’all – today’s the day!!!!!!! i finally get to show you my secret special project!!!!! 🎉

so: to recap the clues:

[Chyme reaches offscreen and brings a small stuffed cat into view.]

my new super cute plushie friend, bob the cat. I know I kinda gave you that one for free, but in my defense, he’s squishalicious!

i really thought the second one was gonna be tough, but you all figured it out!

[Chyme nestles Bob the Cat between her breasts, then cocks her head up and sings a C-sharp minor arpeggio. After 1.21 seconds, a pigeon lands on her shoulder, and she smiles back at the camera. A piece of paper is tied to the pigeon’s leg.]

that’s right, an elevation derived from the average flight height of our good pal zeke the pigeon over the past two weeks. speaking of whom, let’s see whose letter zeke chose this week!

[Despite holding a selfie stick, Chyme somehow unties the paper from Zeke’s leg and unfurls it. She stares at it for 5.20 seconds, smiling the whole time. She then blinks, frowns, and then turns to Zeke with a pout.]

zeke!!!!! i know people are writing things other than the gorilla warfare copypasta!!!!!! they’re gonna get mad again!

anyway, yeah, bob the cat and the elevation you got from zeke. but my final clue was the most devious of them all!

[Chyme simultaneously squats down and adjusts the angle of the camera, revealing that a lamb, its wool splotched black and white, is standing next to the woman. She begins to pet the lamb.]

it’s my favorite jokémon, mooloo! its jalar jokédex number is 34.

but what does that 34 mean????? i saw a lot of people guess something about rule 34, and that’s pretty close!!

everybody, i’m super excited to show you what I’ve been cooking… so let’s wait no longer! I’m gonna show you in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

[Chyme stands and twirls in a single motion. When she stops, she is standing in front of a crowd of women standing in their underwear. The women look at her with fascination and confusion.]

that’s right, I’m taking back the WORLD RECORD for ~*BIGGEST LESBIAN ORGY (ANY%)*~!!!!!

[The woman behind Chyme collectively gasp, many clasping their hands over their mouths. The archivist attests that no stock sound effects were inserted at this moment.]

but let’s not be hasty, everybody. first off, you know I like to play with my food. but also, we’ve still got about five minutes before the ‘go and find help’ group arrives. i could’ve waited to start recording, but…

[Chyme approaches a woman with brown skin and black hair. She is flushed and breathing heavily. Chyme licks the woman’s cheek before completing her sentence.]

I’m sooooooo hungry….

[Chyme begins interviewing the woman, who appears confused throughout.]

CHYME: what’s your name, cutie?

CUTIE: Renee. Who are you? What the fuck are you talking about, an orgy?

CHYME: oh! sorry, i should explain. hi hi, i’m chyme💕! i’m a streamer! i’m going for a world record lesbian orgy. FL1PP3R has the current WR with 31.

RENEE: Yeah, no shit, I heard you the first time. But that’s not a thing. There’s no lesbian orgy section in the Generic Beer Brand Book of World Records.

CHYME: it actually got added in the 2024 edition, but that’s way behind the online leaderboards. anyway, i gotta take back the title so i can be in the next edition!

RENEE: Bullshit. I hate this. This is the stupidest-

[Renee stops mid-thought as she notices something offscreen.]

RENEE: Tanya? What are you doing here?

[The camera spins to reveal a group of ten women, all in their underwear, emerging from a gap in the trees. The woman at the front of the group, Tanya, has blonde hair and tattoos across her upper body. Chyme looms back into frame, speaking conspiratorially.]

CHYME: alrighty, here comes the second group! they went to find help instead of hiking here directly, but little did they realize that a second, even steeper route up here lay in wait! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

TANYA: Hi, Renee! Looks like the coin flip didn’t matter, huh?

CHYME: oh! do you two know each other?

RENEE: Kinda. We just met at the trailhead.

CHYME: well, I think this is super cute!!!! how about you two start the orgy together?

[Renee and Tanya study each other’s faces for a moment as Chyme waits for their answer.]

RENEE: I mean, you are hot.

TANYA: I agree, and the feeling is mutual.

RENEE: Are you single?

TANYA: I’m not, but I don’t think that matters.

CHYME: it doesn’t! 😊

[The orgy begins (see tape 67B).]