hi hi, it’s chyme💕! by the authority vested in me as president by the constitution and the laws of the united states of america, including the international emergency entertainment powers act (IEEPA), the national emergencies act, section 69 of the jump act of 2003, and section 301 of title 3, united states code, it is hereby ordered:

Section 1. Background. in executive order 18462 of april 20, 2026 (regulating genre with a giant robot to enhance genre practices that contribute to huge and persistent anime tiddies), i found that the severe deficit in anime tiddies in america, including the consequences of that deficit, constitute an unusual and extraordinary threat to the mental and physical health of the average american. i declared a national emergency with respect to that threat, and to deal with it, i piloted my giant robot ✨AF-1 ✨ to make anime real. this executive order also greatly expanded access to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), opening the doors for more americans to foster the growth of huge anime tiddies.

additionally, in executive order 18295 of february 14, 2026, i instructed the department of housing and urban development to shift its housing initiatives towards communal living arrangements, including the repurposing of billionaires’ redundant mansions for the housing of low-income individuals.

i have received additional information and recommendations from various officials who, pursuant to my direction, have been monitoring the circumstances involving this emergency. after considering the information and recommendations these officials have provided to me, the status of my own huge tiddies, and the fact that we, as americans, have the power of both god and anime on our side, among other factors, i have determined that it is necessary and appropriate to institute stricter regulations on certain american household dynamics to promote and nurture anime within our borders.

Section 2. Updating Scope of Tropes Domestically. proceeding with all reasonable speed, the department of housing and urban development will shift adult communal living areas towards a harem model. all communal living spaces have one (1) central figure whom the other members are romantically and sexually attracted to; in addition, other members of the harem shall self-identify into their choice of trope, including, but not limited to: tsundere, bokukko, genki girl, kuudere, hot mom, meganekko, himedere, and patient childhood love interest.

Section 3. Implementation. the secretary of tropes and huge anime tiddies shall continue to monitor the circumstances involving the emergency declared in executive order 18462, while the secretary of housing and urban development shall continue to monitor the circumstances involving the emergency declared in executive order 18295; they shall regularly consult on such circumstances with any senior official they deem appropriate. both shall inform me of any circumstance that, in their opinion, might indicate the need for further action by the president (that’s me 💕!).

[Section 4, Severability; Section 5, General Provisions; have been omitted because the author didn’t want to literally copy and paste entire paragraphs from the Executive Orders they modeled this entry after.]

CHYME 💕 MARSOPA

THE WHITE HOUSE,

November 17, 2026