Michael and Susan had recently moved in with each other, and couldn’t be happier. Michael was working at a Fortune 100 company doing tech work, and Susan was finishing up her doctorate, and all of their friends knew that they’d probably be married in a few years one way or the other.
Michael came home from work to Susan studying. He hugged her, and then went to the living room.
“Want to take a quick break?” he said, holding up a controller.
Susan smiled at him. “I’d love to, but I can’t. I’m on a roll with my dissertation right now.”
Michael nodded. “No worries, I’ll leave you to it then.”
Michael knew the drill at this point. Susan took her work very seriously, and that was part of what he loved about her. She was probably the smartest woman he knew, and she had been a big contributor to his ability to pass calc and physics in college. Still, he couldn’t help but think that it would be nice if she could turn off her brain every once in a while.
“Woah, where’d you get this?” he said, looking at a new reading lamp that had appeared on the coffee table.
The lamp’s shade was a beautiful stained glass geometric pattern, though it was currently covered with dust.
“Oh, yeah,” Susan said absentmindedly. “Our neighbor was having a garage sale, and I picked that up. Feel free to dust it off if you want, I haven’t really had the chance to.”
Micheal picked up the lamp and dusted it off with his sleeve. He was surprised when sparks seemed to come out of it, and even more surprised when the room seemed to fill up with smoke. He coughed, and tried to look around for a fire extinguisher or something, but the smoke soon cleared and he was looking at a Middle Eastern man in colorful clothes.
“Hello, Master,” the man said. “I am the genie of the lamp. Your wish is my command.”
Michael looked to Susan, and was surprised that she seemed to have noticed none of this happening. She was good at focusing, but not that good. The genie followed Michael’s gaze, and smiled.
“Ah, only the person who has freed me can see me,” the genie said.
Michael nodded. He walked over to the bedroom, and motioned for the genie to follow him. Then he closed the door behind him giving them some privacy, and hopefully keep Susan from thinking he was crazy or talking to himself.
“Alright,” Michael said. “Do I get three wishes or something?”
The genie shook his head. “You always have exactly 1 wish left.”
“How does that work?” Michael asked. “That sounds like infinite wishes.”
“There’s no such thing as infinity,” the genie said. “You will always have 1 wish left.”
That was all Michael needed to hear. He crept over to the door, and looked at Susan studying.
“I wish Susan would stop studying, and suggest we go out.”
The genie snapped his fingers, and Susan closed her laptop. She got up, and knocked on the door.
“Hey, Michael, do you want to hit downtown? I’ve hit my limit for studying for tonight, and I want to get out and have a little fun.”
Michael readily agreed, and soon the two of them were dressed for a night on the town. Michael loved the way Susan looked in her dress. She was radiant—the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.
“Why are you taking that lamp with you?” Susan asked.
“I wish nobody would notice anything strange about me carrying this lamp,” Michael said.
Susan blinked in confusion, wondering why she had asked such a silly question. Finally the two of them were off. Michael for his part was happy with his first wish. Hiding the lamp so he could make more wishes without people noticing was a stroke of brilliance on his part. He didn’t understand why Susan had stopped studying though—she was normally such a workaholic.
They were driving through the seedier part of town, when Michael saw the strip club they always passed by on this route. He suddenly had an idea.
“Stop here, babe,” Michael said. “I want to check this place out!”
Susan looked disapprovingly at him. “Really? Why would we go there?”
“I wish you were a stripper at that club, a high school dropout who has been here her whole adult life.”
Susan blinked and giggled. Her clothing had suddenly changed. No longer was she dressed as a prim and proper doctoral student. She was in a sequinned bikini top and bottom.
“Thanks for driving me to work, honey,” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek, and getting out of the car.
Michael smiled, and stepped out following her. Maybe it was a little beneath him to use his first wish to turn his girlfriend into a stripper, but the genie had said he had infinite wishes, and he could always change her back. He was nervous trying to bring his lamp inside the building, but it turned out he needn’t worry. Nobody seemed to be able to see it. Probably some unexplained bit of genie magic—Michael wasn’t going to complain.
He loved watching the way his ditzy girlfriend now moved. She was like sex on legs. The other patrons also seemed to approve. He loved how smart Susan was, but it was nice seeing her with her brain turned off and cutting loose a bit.
He did notice something though. Susan seemed to be a bit self-conscious of the fact that Michael was watching her. She wasn’t willing to go all out, and be as nasty and vulgar as she could while her boyfriend was watching.
Grasping the lamp, he made another wish. “I wish that Susan and I were strangers.”
The effect on Susan was instantaneous. She stopped holding back, and suddenly she was grinding an dancing and showing off like she was in a room full of strangers.
Michael smiled. Susan had never been the brightest bulb in the bunch, but she more than made up for that with her incredible body. There was something arousing about the idea of having Susan belong to him, but not realize it. Michael could remember two timelines now—the one where Susan the stripper had just moved in with him, and the one where Susan was just a stranger he liked to watch at the stip club.
Michael decided to rub the lamp, and let his genie friend enjoy the show. It’s not like anybody would see!
“She’s quite attractive,” the genies said approvingly.
“You’re telling me!” Michael grinned.
“Although,” the genie said. “She’s not quite as buxom as the other dancers, is she?”
Micheal considered this. He couldn’t get enough of Susan’s curves, but they didn’t scream “stripper” exactly. Maybe he could give her a little upgrade?
“I wish Susan had breasts as big as that dancer,” Michael said pointing.
Before his eye, Susan’s breasts ballooned out. And suddenly it seemed like Susan was getting more attention and enthusiasm from the crowd than before. Certainly, it seemed like she was getting more money thrown her way on stage, or stuffed into her bra and panties as she went by.
Michael was a little confused. Why had he used his first wish tonight for that dancer? Sure, she was probably one of the more attractive girls here, but depending on his mood he could see going for some of the other girls.
“Oh, yeah,” Michael said. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Is there anything else I should know about your wishes? Any rules or anything like that? I want to know before I make my second wish.”
The genie smiled. “Well, I will tell you that you’ve made more than one wish tonight.”
“What?” Michael said.
“Indeed,” the genie said. “You have made 5 wishes tonight.”
“Okay, back up. You’re going to need to explain why I can only remember making one wish.”
The genie gave a toothy grin. “Mortal minds were not meant to remember things from past versions of reality. My genie magic can give you hazy memories of the past, but only for the way things were right before your most recent wish.”
“So, things were different for me at the start of the night,” Michael said. “Like, how?”
“Well, where do you work right now?” the genie asked.
“Um… I work for a small company as an IT guy making almost no money,” Michael said.
“Before, you were working at a Fortune 100 company. One of your wishes had the side effect of putting you on a path for a less lucrative career. Worry not, I can always give you material goods to make up for such things.”
Michael was starting to feel angry at the genie. Had it tricked him? Was this whole thing a ruse to make him wish away his better life?
“Okay, what else is different?” Michael said, anger rushing to his cheek.
“Well, you weren’t always a single virgin,” the genie said. “You had a girlfriend, and the two of you had recently moved in and were discussing marriage.”
Michael was truly angry now. “Well, then. I wish things would go back to the way they were before.”
The genie snapped his fingers.
Michael didn’t notice anything different. “What’s changed?”
“Oh, I made you go back to the way they were before, when you were a freshman in college. I’m sure the strippers here won’t mind your new acne problem.”
Michael touched his face, and was horrified to find that his old enemy had indeed returned to plague him again.
“Shit, you knew what I meant!” Michael said. “I wanted you to reverse the wish.”
The genie shook his head. “You’ll need to be specific. Wish for a specific job, and a specific girl to be girlfriend. I’ll happily oblige.”
Michael gritted his teeth in frustration.
“Okay,” he said. “You said I wasn’t always a single, virgin working a dead-end IT job?”
“Nope, you were dating one of the girls here. She was quite the genius too.”
Michael looked at the various girls in the strip club. None of them seemed like geniuses to him. Probably another wish he didn’t remember making.
“Can you at least tell me which one it was?” Michael said.
“No can do,” the genie said. “It would break the genie code. And ruin the fun besides. I’m giving you as much information as I can.”
Michael looked around the room. Who had he been in a relationship with? All of the girls were attractive, and he wouldn’t have minded a relationship with any of them. He couldn’t even remember what it was like to have sex, let alone to be in a committed romantic relationship anymore. How had these wishes made him such a loser?
There was Jennifer, blonde and pretty, but without much substance. Selena, a fiery redhead who was delivering MILF energy. Susan, the curvy temptress who he had spoken to few times. And then there was Amber, who was exactly Michael’s type. She had amazing tits and ass, and trashy tattoos in all the right places. He also admired her belly button piercing. She had to be the one, right? He just felt so drawn to her.
“I wish Amber was my super smart girlfriend who moonlights as stripper to supplement her income.”
The genie nodded, and snapped his finger. Suddenly, Amber was giving smiling glances over to Michael as she gave a patron a lap dance.
Alright, that was sorted, Michael thought with relief. He had his girlfriend back. Now to fix his job.
“I wish I was working in a Fortune 100 company,” Michael said.
“Granted,” the genie said.
Michael sighed. “Now I wish that this lamp would leave my possession, and that I would forget all about it.” This lamp was too dangerous to use safely. He was better off leaving while he was ahead.
The genie nodded, and disappeared back into the lamp.
Michael blinked, and suddenly wondered what he had just been doing. He saw his girlfriend Amber, and smiled. She had promised that tonight was the night. Tonight, his sexy girlfriend was going to take his virginity.
She finished doing her lap dance, and walked over to Michael. He expected a hug, or a peck on the cheek, but instead she looked unhappy.
“Michael, I want to break up,” she said.
“What?” he said incredulously. “I thought tonight we were going to—”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Michael, I thought you were kind of cute in the coffee shop when you asked me out, but face it. You’re a loser! You’ve still got pimples, you’ve never been to college, and you’ve never had a girlfriend. All of that would almost be forgivable, but you’re working at an Amazon warehouse barely scraping by. I can make as much as you make in a week in a single day, and I can get any guy I want. Why would I want to date a schlub like you?”
Amber went back to work, leaving Michael stunned in his seat.
Susan wandered around. “Would you like a drink?” she asked cheerily.
“Sure,” Michael said numbly, putting a twenty on the table.
“I think I know what would cheer you up,” Susan said. “How would you like a lap dance?”
Michael looked up at the woman. His young hormones were going crazy looking at her, but he couldn’t help but resent her a little as well. Why did women like this never show interest in him?
Oh, well. At least nature had only saw fit to give Susan an impressive body. A few minutes of conversation with Susan was all Michael needed to know that she was far from a genius. People like Amber pissed him off. Amazing bodies, and amazing minds? How was that fair?
“Susan,” Michael finally said after a lap dance and a few more drinks. “Have you ever considered being a girlfriend-for-pay?”
Susan looked at him curiously. “No? What’s, like, a girlfriend-for-pay?”
“You’d pretend to be my girlfriend, go on dates with me, that sort of thing. I’ve been saving money for a while…”
Susan shifted in her seat, her enormous breasts now practically in Michael’s face. “Um… would I have to have sex with you or anything?”
Michael sighed. “No sex. Unless you wanted to of course?”
Susan smiled brightly. She was always looking for more ways to make money from her sleazy patrons, and this Michael guy seemed pathetic enough that she wasn’t worried about her safety going out with him.
“My shift finishes in an hour, why don’t you take me for dinner then?” she said.
“Okay,” Michael said. “It’s a deal.”
Michael looked at his feet. He had really hit rock bottom. But if this was the best a loser like him could do, he’d take it. As he stewed in these thoughts, he didn’t even notice Susan picking up a strange lamp from the floor.