The following is a true story…I think. Well, it’s a story, at least, and some part of it is true, maybe, but I don’t know if all of it is true, you know? It’s that kind of thing! Or, um, maybe it’s wishful thinking?
It started yesterday, when I was pawing through Dr. Newton’s latest book. ‘Hypnosis in the Mainstream’. It’s a perfectly acceptable subject for an honor student and not at all related to any fetishes I may or may not have. It’s an academic review of various quasi-scientific phenomena and the relation to hypnotherapy and liminal barriers and –
(well, it’s also kinda hot, but, that’s unrelated, I swear!)
“Oh, I haven’t picked that one up yet,” I heard, a girl settling down near me. Ah, but…
I, Percy Lowell, have pledged to remain outside things like ‘romance’ for so long as my studies continue. Despite the many suitors pursuing me, the most I have revealed to the world is that I prefer girls, but…
“I’m still working through ‘The Supreme Idea’, you know? It’s a lot to wrap my head around. I keep having to go through the bibliography just to keep up.”
Vesta is just so darned cute!
She’s like, this delicate little thing, that’s so full of passion, and I really can’t help but feel like, ‘oh no I have to be a responsible senpai’, but of all the people I’ve met here at the Verwest Adventist Academy, no one has tempted me more! Not a one!
“There are many layers to her work,” I said, keeping my gaze as level as possible, hiding my face behind the book. “I find that to achieve deeper understanding, I have to read and reread to ensure I absorb the information.”
Yes. It’s that. It’s definitely not that I get the tingly feelings and ask ‘what would hypnosis feel like’. Nothing like that, of course.
“Mmm. Ms. Sin has been very helpful to me in that regard.” No, that name is nothing weird, it’s Korean, there’s no secret succubus teacher whispering in Vesta’s ear, that’d be weird, no weird thoughts Percy! “It’s a rough read sometimes, though. The thought of people deliberately spreading misinformation like that, and that misinformation outcompeting legitimate information…”
“Well, memetics was a pseudoscience in the 2010s – er, the Heisei era,” I said, trying to put on my best ‘senpai’ voice. “Society was built based on the assumption of people playing fair. The ‘supreme idea’, a ‘meme’ that can supplant all others in a human mind…it’s terrifying!”
Yes. Terrifying. Not hot at all. Not even a little! Ugh, there’s no way, Vesta could never know any of this! Responsible senpai Percy, that’s me…
“Well, um…actually, there’s something else I’m curious about.” Vesta fidgeted, and I smiled at her, trying to be all graceful-like. “You remember my cousin Junon, right?”
“Right, the ‘influencer’. With the colorful hair, yes! I recall you and her don’t always get along super well.” She lives not too far from the dorm, though I’ve only seen her once or twice during girls’ night out. “Is she troubling you?”
“No! For once, no, thankfully.” Vesta took off her glasses, and, aah, I still wish I could just take this girl and do her hair, her nails, her makeup…but then everyone else would know how cute she is, too! Or, maybe I’d not be able to hide it…“No, she just, after I visited her last, she said something about how my voice would be really good for ASMR.”
If there is such a thing as God, then surely this is a test of faith, or something. At least, that’s how I felt at the time…
“I, um, seem to remember you saying something about it, Percy?”
“Uh, yeah, what about it?” I averted my eyes a bit; this, I thought, was something I couldn’t reveal. It was a bit embarrassing, but mostly it’s that my interest isn’t totally toward, and Dr. Newton’s latest book is, in fact, about the similarities of phenomena like ‘ASMR’ to ‘hypnotic’ phenomena, and darned if that hasn’t given me thoughts, and how can my secret kohai crush give me such a trial?!
“Well, I was thinking, maybe, um – maybe it’d be nice if I gave it a try. With you. Or even just, well…” Vesta peered around, as though trying to avoid the gaze of the other students. “Dr. Newton’s writing on hypnosis has made me awfully curious about the whole thing, you know? I think you’re the only person I could ask who wouldn’t consider it ridiculous.”
Right, this was completely innocent. I had no reason to worry. It’d just be a cluck like a chicken kind of situation, right? Everything would be just fine. I’d just be getting ASMR and/or hypnosis from the kohai I secretly have a crush on! There’s nothing weird about that!
“Um…sure!” I said, trying to hide any anxiety. Honestly, most people had never even considered such a fetish, and those who had probably considered it immoral. Everything would be fine! Vesta’s just, my kohai, she can’t do anything too weird, I thought.
I was wrong.
I’d managed to swallow down any second thoughts before we found an empty dorm room to share. Fortunately, Vesta’s dormmate was visiting her home, so it was just the two of us, in a dorm, with a locked soundproofed door separating us from the rest of the Cassandra Hall.
Yes, just Percival Lowell and her cute crush, Vesta Ilustrada Imanis, and she’s younger and probably not really the type to twist a girl around her finger with her words, no matter if even her name sounds hypnotic, and was I perhaps working myself up too much? Hoping for it?
Never. Not a bit.
“Um, right. The, uh, most important part of this is trust and comfort, right?” Vesta seemed awfully nervous, her hands fidgeting, but that just meant I probably seemed fine. “Do you trust me? I know we’re friends, but this is a big ask.”
“Just leave it to senpai,” I said, putting on my best smile. “Anything I can do to help!”
“Then, um…” Vesta reached into her pocket, and fished out a lighter. For a moment, I thought it might be a real one – she can’t have that in here, you know! – but even if the flame looked realistic, I could tell it was a hologram. Even so…
“Why the lighter, Vesta?” I asked.
“I thought, um, it’d make an interesting focus.” The flame was reflected in her glasses, and I found myself staring into those reflections as much as the flame itself. “That it’d be interesting, if you watched the flame.”
“Of course!” I smiled. “I’m really interested!” Would it be smoker ASMR? No, wait, that’d be a weird fetish! Abort, abort –
“Interested in the flickering flame.”
“Mm, it is interesting. Very realistic!”
“Interested in the way it quivers, even in the still air.”
“Huh, that is a trick. That pattern –”
I found myself drawn from the flame, into Vesta’s eyes. I could almost imagine the flame inside them, instead of reflected. The reflection in her glasses, and in her eyes, and even off a nearby mirror…how did that song she likes go? ‘You are a kaleidoscope’…
“Do you trust me?”
There was something firm in her voice, that confidence Vesta could display when challenged, and I tried to take it more seriously from there, even if I wasn’t sure how I’d even agreed to this in the first place.
“Ah! Of course, my – er, my friend, kohai, um.”
I felt myself stumble over my words. I had almost said ‘my love’…ah, no, was I trying to confess?! Just because I’d imagined saying it like that before, it’s not strange, is it –
“Then listen, and watch the flame.”
My eyes caught into the flame again.
“Watch it burn brightly in the low light.”
I was able to focus on it.
“Watch it flicker and quiver.”
I was able to focus on her.
“Watch it, reflected in my glasses.”
I was able to focus, more and more.
“Watch it, reflected in my eyes.”
I was able to listen.
“Watch it, as you listen to my words.”
I was able to listen before I realized I should
“Watch it, as you feel heavy.”
I was able to watch but I didn’t realize I was heavy
“Watch it, as you start to fade into the flame.”
I was able to fade into the flame
“Watch it, as you sink”
i fell before realizing i fell
i fell before realizing i needed to
i can hear Vesta’s voice
was this my fantasy?
she’d been reading, alongside me, as i thought of this
dreaming of a supreme idea
did i somehow hypnotise myself? there’s no way
even if Vesta is beautiful, there’s no way
i wondered if i imagined it.
“All hypnosis is self-hypnosis, isn’t it, Percival?”
her face had changed. she had this…big, sexy, smug grin. almost like she was a different person, but, a hot person.
“You’ve been priming yourself with these books, Percival. It’s easy for you to fade for me.”
she reached out, to place her hand on my cheek. i smiled.
“Easy for you to sink for your crush.”
i nodded. she saw. she saw my love…
“Easy for you to sink for my words.”
this wasn’t right, but i didn’t care.
“I’m going to have you confess for me, we’re going to go deeper, but before that, I’m going to take your first kiss. Do you want that, Percival? For the girl you love?”
she grinned. because she already knew the answer. she’s so sexy when she’s smug.
and so i nodded.
she stood, and approached, and grasped my head in her hands. letting me feel completely under her control.
she stroked my cheek, and my hair.
“You look so perfect when you’re hypnotised. You belong like this. Drooling for me…”
i smiled, and nodded to Vesta.
and her lips met mine.
her lips met mine, and my first kiss was the most wonderful it could possibly be, a hypnotised first kiss that would never be forgotten.
her tongue pushed into my mouth, and i swallowed down her drool, and everything faded into the Flame of Vesta’s hearth…
everything faded into hypnotic bliss…
I fluttered my eyes as I awoke.
Why was I lying down? One moment I was – was being hypnotised, or, did that happen? What? And the next, I was lying down?! I felt a bit headachey, and my mouth felt weird and dry, and there was this damp spot between my legs, and I felt all warm and tingly, but –
“Oh! You’re awake!” Vesta quickly shut her book and rushed to my side! “Um, you passed out right when we started…I-I’m sorry, did you, um, have you been overworking yourself? Percy?”
“N-no, my…my love,” I muttered, but barely intelligibly – I don’t think Vesta heard it or anything, even if her hand was warm against mine…
“Um, maybe it’s…well, Dr. Newton’s scripts are sometimes intense. Maybe I hit on something unintentionally. Even I fade a bit sometimes when reading them.”
Was it…like that? I didn’t remember reading hypnotic scripts before, but now I do, and did I hypnotise myself? Was all that wishful thinking?
Oh, if that’s the case, then it was all fine. Right?
“Oh, so nothing weird happened,” I said, smiling. “That’s good…”
“Only me calling you a good girl,” Vesta said, and then immediately – “T-that was a joke! I’d never, um, do something weird while you were like that! Ehe.”
I smiled wider.
Why, even now, does the thought of being Vesta’s good girl make me tremble?
Even if that was all in my head, did Vesta want that? Dream of that? Does she hope for that kind of control over someone? Or is this all simply ideas Dr. Newton has planted in my head?
I almost wish it were real, but is the mere wish simply a sign that it wasn’t real?
Or is it just, that now that I’m back in my room, I can’t resist the thought of touching myself, to the idea of a girl I thought of as nothing but my cute kohai making my brain into her plaything? Filling me with her supreme idea?
…I guess, in lieu of a real answer, masturbating works too, right?
(Real or not, I doubt I’ll ever be able to look at Vesta the same way again…)
– from the fantasy(?) diary of Percy Lowell.