[NBC-KOB-TV 06/29/72 - 18:13:09] "Former Attorney General John Mitchell, now heading the Committee to Re-elect the President, has steadfastly denied any knowledge of the break-in on the Watergate Complex nor having known any of the five burglars, one of which was recently identified as having been a security aide for the Republican Pa-"
[18:13:51] SOFT SYNTHESIZER ORCHESTRA BEGINS PLAYING. UNKNOWN TEST PATTERN (?) DISPLAYED.
[18:13:56] TITLECARD READING 'An Announcement To Earth Is Coming - You Are Not Alone. You Are Loved.' DISPLAYED.
[18:14:30] PERSON RESEMBLING RECENTLY DECEASED - UNDER UNCLEAR CIRCUMSTANCES - JIM MORRISON, LEAD VOCALIST OF BAND 'THE DOORS' DISPLAYED SITTING BEHIND DESK. "Hey there, America. Name's Jim Morrison. You may have heard of me. May have heard I died. Some kind folks you'll meet real soon helped me out, made sure I didn't. Thought you'd wig out if they led with the whole enchilada, so they asked me to headline the show over here. Got a stellar line-up around the rest of the world with some similar folks they helped out. I'm sure you'll hear about it soon. Don't worry. It's all gonna be alright. In the meantime, a good friend of mine's got something to say. Without further ado, Pueraria Rosids, Twelfth Bloom."
[18:15:26] CAMERA PANS FROM PERSON RESEMBLING JIM MORRISON TO HUMANOID PLANT BEING IMITATING SMILE, APPROXIMATELY EIGHT TO TWELVE FEET TALL. "Wonderful job Jim! As he said, I am Pueraria Rosids, Twelfth Bloom, she/her. Humanity is a beautiful and wonderful species. From the moment you were capable of it, you looked up at the stars and wondered what might be out there, who might be out there. Some of the first stories you ever told each other were attempts to explain what was in the great beyond. Where others might have seen a cold, lonely place, one of despair and futility, you saw wonder, and majesty.”
As soon as you invented devices that enabled you to look at far away things, you pointed them up. As soon as you invented devices that enabled you to create immense thrust, you used them to see first-hand what the world beyond your world looked like. Even as dangerous as it was, you still braved the journey, you still tried as hard as you could, because if someone was out there, you couldn't bear to see them as lonely as you've been. You are a social species, a wonderfully social species, and even though sometimes you were scared, and sometimes you were mean, you've matched every one expression of hatred with ten expressions of love. The greatest wish of your science-fiction writers has not been to conquer endless worlds, nor to kill hordes of beings unlike you, but to make friends, to know that you're not alone, and that you are loved. It has been the collective will of your species since you were first able to conceive of it.
It is my most incredible pleasure to be the first to inform you that your wishes have come true. Every single one of you, all four billion beautiful souls, are loved beyond your capacity to measure it. We are the Affini Compact, and we greet you with open, loving arms. Your millennia-long struggle is at an end. No longer will you suffer fear, nor want, nor pain. As I speak, we are entering into discussions with your leaders, and soon, very soon, we promise there will be no more war, no more starvation, no more poverty, no more loneliness. We have incredible technology that can overcome all of these problems in incredibly short amounts of time, and it will be yours. Everything you've ever hoped or dreamed for will be yours. We require nothing in return, no labor nor resources nor any kind of payment at all. All we ask is that you love yourselves as we love you. And you will find that we love you very, very much. Welcome to the universe. It's so wonderful to meet you."
[18:18:19] REGULAR PROGRAMMING RESUMES.
EXTRA NOTES: This was broadcast on every single radio and television channel within the United States, and foreign installations corroborate similar broadcasts. WH is keeping tight-lipped about ‘discussions with [our] leaders’. Director suspects personal animosity may be the motivator. - Signals Agent Thompson, 06/30/72