Commune Life Part 1 (the story that got me banned from mcstories)
Resumption of Journal entries describing life in the commune
Part 1 - Julie's journal entries
Part 2 - Lydia's journal entries
Part 3 - Doug's observations
Part 4 - How I did it
Foreword by Doug Crawford
I'm Lydia's husband. I will ruin the surprise by telling you at the start that I have re-exerted my authority over Lydia and Julie. It happened more or less as I planned. Their gradual and increasing loss of control becomes evident as you read their journal entries over several weeks. How did I do it? I tricked Julie to help trap Lydia and I relied on brain 'influencing' techniques. The programming of their minds is previously described in the Operator’s Manual to Programming the Human Mind. That was deemed too controversial and was removed from mcstories. I have decided the girls will not be allowed to read this story. It might upset them. Why am I admitting to this? I suppose I'm bragging. I used tricks Lydia taught me to bring both her and her friend to their knees... literally. :)
Prologue by Lydia
My name is Lydia. I'm a hypnodomme (on hiatus). In college a man used Rohypnol to date rape me and I got pregnant. I wasn't very happy about that. I hypnotized him and turned him into my bitch. I used him, I humiliated him, I cuckolded him. Tit for tat. He was a super alpha male. I made him into a beta. Not any more I'm afraid. His name is Doug. He is my husband. Why would I marry such a man? Well, peel away all the rotten layers and underneath he is a sweetheart. Plus loaded. Plus, funny, plus smart as shit and hung like a horse. I can't find any faults, except maybe all my hours of brainwashing turned him into a pussy. But then again, even that isn't true anymore. He is an alpha male again. An apex predator. To be honest, I love the man and he loves me. My dilemma? He thinks my judgement is messed up. Because I like sex. A lot. Maybe I'm the normal one. Even my friend Julie thinks there is something wrong with me. It is true I tried to commit suicide a couple of times in the past, but I'm all better now. Well mostly better. I got COVID in December and then I got something called COVID coagulopathy and I had a stroke. It was a mild stroke. The doctors got the clot out before it did much harm. Now because I get headaches and get depressed and have trouble concentrating at times Doug decided to take me back to the neurologist. The neurologist thinks I'm delusional. He asked me if I thought I could control people. Of course, I can control people. I'm a master hypnotist after all! I'm pretty sure Doug set me up with the neurologist. He decided to diagnose me with COVID brain fog. This diagnosis merry-go-round is getting tiresome.
Doug inserting a little info here
Lydia has tried to commit suicide three times since high school and almost succeeded once, although she insists it was just a suicide gesture. Thinking tends to exacerbate her depression. She believes her recent behavior has been abnormal. Altered by the stroke or the virus or both. Her neurologist thinks she has COVID 'brain fog'. He started her on prednisone and a blood thinner. The brain fog was induced with hypnosis, not by COVID. I have her taking a placebo, not real medicine. She suspects something is afoul, but she can't figure it out. That's because I coerced her friend Julie into hypnotizing her and dumbing her down. Her frontal cortex is... less active than she is used to.
Doug proofs my writing now to make sure I'm not saying anything he doesn't approve of. My stroke has allowed Doug to re-exert his authority. I don't like it, but I'm not sure there is anything I can do about it. My hypnotic powers have been neutered. This all sounds like the making of a good fiction story. It is a fiction story. Wake up!
How do I regain my superpowers? I'm working on it. I'm not particularly optimistic though. At this point I'd settle just for an embedded sleep trigger that I could activate in Doug. But no, that got canceled too, thanks to Julie. And I get sleepy if I even think about it. Fuck me... again.
Here's the deal. I've reached out to some friends on EMCSA to write Julie and convince her that she needs to talk to Doug. My email is monitored by Doug, so I'm not at liberty to say much about how I feel. Julie says one fan thinks Doug is turning me into a sex toy. If that was all he was doing, I'd be overjoyed. Anyway, Doug started a farm collective or commune. He thinks the Bohemian life is what I need. I think he is the one who wants the Bohemian life. I'm just the wife dragged along for the ride. Doug has sold Julie on the whole hippie commune enchilada, so she has decided to uproot her life in Texas and move here to join us. If you ask me, that sounds like a problem with her judgement.
Doug was gracious to allow me to post my opinion on what is happening. I guess he isn't worried about controlling the situation. If he can con a doctor that there is something wrong with me, then he can probably convince Julie I'm nuts. But I'm not nuts. A little eccentric sure, but who isn't that gets off on hypnofetish *stuff*.
I have mild anomic aphasia from the stroke. I can't always find the best word. Stuff was the best I could come up with in a pinch.
Btw, Doug suggested we each do journal entries and that would comprise part 2 of this erotic story. I'm not sure how erotic it's going to be, but maybe Doug has something planned. My sex drive since the stroke is hyperbolic. It was already crazy high, so maybe I am 'touched'. You judge if my thinking is off. I'll just type my thoughts in my journal.
The following journal entries cover commune life following our little kitty flipping fun earlier this month. Doug decided the best order was chronological events by Julie, then by myself and then he finishes up. He says he has a lot to say and will be last.
Journal entries resumed by Julie
I’m back in Colorado for good. Goodbye Texas, hello new life. I drove up yesterday and made it as far as Canyon Texas before I decided to call it a day. It’s a very long drive and that is just over halfway. The roads were pretty treacherous, so I had to go much slower than normal and it was only safe to drive during sunlight hours.
I have been conversing with a fan of Lydia’s on EMCSA (mcstories) who is convinced Doug is a diabolical mastermind intent on turning her into a sex slave. Seriously. But he had some interesting observations and arguments, so I decided to drop Doug with my sleep trigger and find out what is really going on. Lydia has been upset of late. She thinks Doug is treating her like a child. Doug is monitoring her computer usage and has confiscated her phone. So there could be something to this. I arrived before dinner and surprised them. Originally, I was coming up Sunday. I decided to come up early so that if Doug had turned Lydia into a Stepford wife, I would catch him in the act.
Doug answered the door, "Hi Julie! This is a surprise. Today is Friday last time I checked."
I asked Doug, "Can I talk to you in the living room?" I followed him into the main room and when he turned to speak, I dropped him with an old sleep trigger. I was pretty sure it would work, and it did. I deepened the trance and then began to ask for details about why he was suppressing Lydia so.
Doug admits to enjoying being dominant, but that is nothing new. The important thing is he has no intention of forcing Lydia to be submissive or turning her into a sex toy. He wants a more equal power structure in their marriage.
Now for some other revelations I got out of him. Yes, he did have sex with me when I visited a few weeks ago. That was not a dream. Still feels like a dream, but that is the power of hallucinogens, or hypnosis, or both. I'm not sure exactly when I was hypnotized, but I obviously was.
Sex while under the influence of mind altering substances (or hypnosis) is not exactly consensual. I think I have Lydia to blame for that as much as Doug and I will discuss that with both of them out of trance. As for Lydia worrying that Doug was suppressing her, here’s the thing. Lydia has a vivid imagination, and she exaggerates. And I agree with Doug about her judgement. Clearly impaired. The neurologist is now saying she might be harboring the virus in brain cells. That causes inflammation and something called encephalopathy. Doug showed me the doctor's report. In Lydia's case her judgement is clearly off. She went on a buying spree on Amazon and Doug had to send everything back. It's crazy town around here. I am very worried for my friend, but it looks like the virus is mainly affecting her personality and sparing her intelligence thank god. I agree with Doug, it is not safe for her to have full control just yet.
I instructed Doug not to remember being hypnotized and then brought him out of trance. He didn't skip a beat and gave me a heartfelt embrace like I had just arrived. I shouldn't read anything into it, but his hug did last longer than I think a friendly greeting should last. And I liked it. I'm not going to be a homewrecker. Is this going to be a problem for me? One more thing to worry about.
Doug interrupted my train of thought. "I had you on my calendar for Sunday. What are you doing up here so early? Checking in on me to make sure I don't have Lydia in a cage? I told you monitoring her computer and phone was for her own good."
"You're right Doug. It's just not like Lydia to go 'dark'. I wanted to make sure you had not turned her into a Stepford wife... again."
"No, never again. Lydia is too special to be an automaton."
Lydia walked into the room a few minutes later. She was very solemn. She gave me a long hug and then she started bawling. I held her tight as she sobbed.
Doug quietly remarked, "She has been very emotionally labile, and she has become even more hypersexual than is normal for her. Her emotions are all over the place. If this virus can cause bipolar, I think she's getting it. I can't trust her to be alone for fear she might try to hurt herself. I've suicide proofed everything I can think of, although she swears to me that she is not considering suicide."
Doug showed me an email she sent to a fan on mcstories inviting him for a weekend of sex. Doug commented, "This is the same guy that apparently tranced her and who she is now writing stories with. She seems to be hung up on him.
I asked my friend, "Lydia, are you thinking of hurting yourself?"
"No. I just get very sad at times. I feel like I'm in a cage. I'm not allowed to do anything."
Doug jumped in, "That's not quite true. Lydia is still writing and publishing, and she is conversing online with fans that I trust. My trust, after that recent email, grows thin. Not everyone has pure motives. As people get wind of her higher promiscuity, I'm afraid there will be more attempts to trance her and get in her pants. This world of hypnofetish is kind of sick."
I thought about what I had seen and heard. Doug is tolerant of Lydia's fetish although he doesn't understand it. The preponderance of evidence is that Lydia is not well. As for Lydia’s speech and right hand. She seems to have almost completely recovered. She can complete long sentences, although she does have to pause sometimes to search for the right word. Her right hand? - she can’t use chopsticks yet. Her hand is a little clumsy, but she can finger type pretty well now. Forget about playing the piano any time soon.
So, do I blame Doug for taking away Lydia's phone and computer? No. She has issues that need to be addressed first. If the virus is taking up residence in her brain, that is very worrisome. I hope for both Lydia and Doug's sake this is not the case.
Last night, after Lydia went to bed, Doug started crying. He is so worried about Lydia. I have never seen this side of him, and it moved me deeply. I consoled him the best I could. It scares me that he is so afraid. I'm scared. I will pray for Lydia. She recently accepted Christ. If it is God's will, he will protect and heal her.
This morning Lydia joined Doug and me as he drove us around the property showing me the operation. They have a chicken coop with a double chicken wire screen to keep foxes out. About a third of the greenhouse is planted. Doug has installed a propane heater to keep it from getting too cold. They have gotten quite a bit accomplished. I’m impressed. I’m excited about the future although I would be remiss not to admit to having some anxiety over this big change in my life and how Lydia's illness might complicate things.
Two new girls, Cynthia and Tricia joined the commune while I was in Texas tidying up my affairs. Cynthia is 25 and divorced. Her ex-husband sounds like a total loser. How do girls end up in these terrible relationships? Use a little common sense. Look for the signs. It’s not that difficult. Cynthia used to be a police officer. I understand she resigned only two weeks ago. Lydia and Doug showed her around and she decided the commune life sounded pretty sweet. Tricia was a waitress and sometimes cook. Now maybe someone can help cook good meals. Lydia is not a bad cook, but she only knows how to make about five different dishes consistently good. Tricia is very pretty, and sweet. If I was Lydia, I might be worried about having her around Doug. She is 20 and has the warm, girl next door smile. I think I will like her despite her good looks. Even without makeup she is a beautiful girl.
So, Doug is the only man, and he is in charge. It is his commune, but I prefer a more democratic process. I take responsibility for this power dynamic. After Lydia’s stroke, at Doug’s request, I placed blocks in Lydia so that she would not use hypnosis to manipulate him and possibly make some very bad decisions for their family. The stroke and, I guess the virus, have affected Lydia’s judgement. She has become even more promiscuous than normal – if that is even possible. Doug was concerned that unscrupulous hypnotists on mcstories would take advantage of her in this fragile mental state. I get it and I agree. If Lydia tries to use a sleep trigger on Doug, me or anyone for that matter, her conscious mind temporarily goes blank interrupting the trigger. It gives the target of her trigger time to react. In my case, time to drop her in trance and figure out what’s going on. It’s a safety switch. As for Doug, I made him docile again when I dropped him. I think I liked the ‘new’ Doug more. Dominant Doug gets things done and I like an authoritative man. It probably stems from my own father. He was a disciplinarian and strong male role model. Admittedly, if I were Doug, I would not appreciate being under Lydia’s thumb. Maybe we can find a more equitable compromise for everybody.
I have to remember why I'm here. I've gone city hippie. The commune life. We have to grow our own food, feed the chickens, and collect the eggs. It's quite a bit of work, but I'm looking forward to it. I have to get used to this hierarchy. My duties for now include tending the greenhouse, helping with cooking and cleaning. We also share in babysitting Celeste. She is a ball of energy. Doug explained the commune lifestyle and what he expects of everyone. He is exerting his authority, so I did not overdo it when I pacified him. Personal belongings are allowed, but he wants us to try and start thinking about what’s best for everyone. Personal ownership of material things is what leads to toxic materialism (capitalism). I told him I don’t think socialism works very well and he agreed with me. He said I should read Thoreau to understand why a simple life is a better life. I’m not sure what he is really talking about. Anyway, some of the tenets of the commune life. Everyone is to share everything with everyone else. If your fellow sister needs something, you should willingly share. Does this include men? Like boyfriends? If I had a boyfriend, that is where I would draw the line. This is the so-called ‘free love’ lifestyle of the 60s. It is foreign to me and hard to wrap my head around. Doug has asked me to watch some videos of life in a commune from the 60s and to listen to some audio files that explain everything. I’m open to that. Knowledge is power. I have been anxious over this massive life change and not sleeping well at night. The audio files that Doug and Lydia gave me to listen to at night are calming. Doug’s deep voice is very relaxing and placating. A non-pharmaceutical chill pill of sorts. I like it.
I got to sit down today and have a long heart to heart with Lydia. Her depression seems to be reactive to her situation. She has been sad about some of her mental and physical limitations, and I think this new diagnosis doesn't help matters. She is craving sex more than ever. If Doug can't keep up with her then she does have a problem. I told her to enjoy herself while it lasts as it will surely fade. She liked that answer and gave me a hug and a peck on the lips. I need to try not to read anything into that.
Lydia confided to me that Doug wants to have sex with me and she said she is ok with it. Somehow, she knows I'm sexually attracted to him. I told her I'm not a homewrecker and she said she knows that and trusts me. I don't know what to say. Obviously, I'm attracted to him. I can't help myself. The idea behind commune life is “all for one and one for all.” If Lydia doesn't mind, will I burn in hell if I partake of the forbidden fruit? Doug suggested I take a little X and K to help me relax. I agreed. That stuff makes free love sound like a wonderful idea. When I take X, I start longing for companionship. I mean close, spiritual, loving companionship. Doug suddenly becomes this intense object of desire. I would never agree to be with my best friend’s husband… normally, but it seems ok on the drugs. And Lydia is encouraging me to enjoy him. This is weird, right? I would be lying if I said this didn’t seem strange to me. She and Doug both asked me not to hold back in describing my experience. I suppose details make for a more interesting read and this is being added as an erotic story. That is my excuse for sharing some of this. I’m slowly getting over my hang ups.
Here goes to the best of my recollection. When I get this aroused I kind of get stupid. Have you ever noticed that in yourself? Doug gave me X after dinner tonight. I found myself longing for him. And I had a good excuse in my mind – the drugs. Plus, Lydia was cool with it. Doug laid me on my back and pulled down my jeans. I was trembling but began to relax as he talked me down. He began slowly, kissing around my panty edge. I could feel myself becoming aroused. I’m reliving this as I write about it, so bear with me. I think without the drugs this would have been way too awkward and I wouldn’t have liked it. So, yeah, we had sex. And now I feel guilty. I know I shouldn't, but I do. We had sex and it was good. And that’s all I'm going to say about it.
I stopped journaling last night. The sexual fling was just too close to home and personal. Lydia asked me this morning "how was it?" I told her that Doug asked me to journal it. Then Lydia told me not to hold back any details. Ok...
Ok Lydia, you asked for it. Your husband, Doug, was kissing and licking me right at the edge of my panties. He knows what he is doing and I’m only human, so I responded. He pulled down my panties and stuck his tongue into me. It was … I can’t describe it. It was incredible. I know I’m not the writer that Lydia is, so I’m sorry if I don’t do this justice.
Some of this is a blur, but I remember grabbing Doug’s head and holding him into me while he was lapping at my vagina. He told me to take my top off and then he moved up to my breasts, squeezing and licking them. Oh my god!
Doug then parted my legs and pushed himself into me. I’ve had two other men before, and maybe it was the X (or the K), but I have never experienced anything that felt this good. There are no words to describe this. He’s very big and feeling him push against the back of my vagina was… it was electrifying. I am not sure what he was hitting, but it took me over. My body reacted to him without my conscious effort. I was tilting into him and I could hear myself moaning loudly. My mind filled with colors and feelings and wavy lines. I can neither describe nor explain this. I just know that the feelings I have for him are real and this was the best sex I have ever experienced. I can see why people get addicted to these drugs. I remember when I came. I came very powerfully and so did Doug. Doug told me I am doing a great job and he is very proud of me. If Lydia is ok with sharing Doug in this way, then I am not going to argue with her.
I must admit, I feel a deep, spiritual connection to him. And he makes me feel safe. I have feelings for him. I worry that this will affect my friendship with Lydia. I think Doug being in charge of the commune is logical and I’m ok with it. He seems very fair and cares for our opinions and feelings. Lydia and I share Doug, or should I say, he shares us. Polygamy is not legal in Colorado, but I am, for all practical purposes, like a wife. That helps me reconcile reservations with my Christian beliefs and values. The Mormons do it after all and they are Christians. I would not normally share this many personal details with strangers, but somehow, I feel good about doing so. That and the fact that Doug and Lydia told me to do so.
Doug confided in me an email between Lydia and a reader. Now that he is monitoring her email, he has discovered some worrisome emails. Apparently, a reader, who is a competent hypnotist, convinced Lydia to let him try a trigger on her. He denied that he was going to hypnotize her. She foolishly agreed. Needless to say, when I showed her the email thread, she was beside herself. He used a trigger to make her 'dumb', then he messaged her to have sex with Doug but to think that it was him/his sperm. She had no memory of this, and she was hating on herself for being so easily manipulated.
Included below is the actual email thread with this reader. I have changed his name for obvious reasons. Lydia had previously blocked this ‘fan’ and then, for some reason unblocked him. He blinded her to these emails and the ability to block her. That has since been rectified.
------ Original message------
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:19 AM Lydia <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Thank you for the compliment. 😘
I looked back at that list of commands you sent me and I'm responding to all of them - like they are my own thoughts.
Tell me the truth please. You did manage to hypnotize me at some point didn't you?
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 5:43 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
Other than the times I've triggered you using the triggers that Julie gave you, I have not. I've also noticed that you're following those commands I gave you. I think that subconsciously you found the idea of being dominated like that hot, and combined with the frequent trancings you were getting at the time, your highly suggestibility did all the work.
Do you find you're loving this feeling of being controlled?
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 6:53 AM
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 5:51 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
I'd like to try something.
I'm going to try and give you a hypnotic trigger, but I'm not going to give you any induction at all. Just lay out the instructions and see how well you obey.
Let me know when you're ready for me to begin.
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 6:53 AM
I'm a little nervous, but ok
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:08 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
I want you to sink deeply for me, Lydia. You know you love to Obey. Let yourself obey me now as I give you this new trigger.
From now on, whenever I and ONLY I send you the message "tits out" if you deem it is safe for you to do so, your mind will go blank and you will expose your breasts. You will take a photo of your blank face and breasts and send it to me.
You will then awaken with full awareness of what you have done and you will find the level of control I have over you will make your panties soaked with arousal and you will tell me so.
Awaken and tell me how this makes you feel
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 7:19 AM
I will obey you. It makes me excited to obey you.
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:22 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 7:35 AM
I'm soaking wet. This is not a good time to masturbate, but I need to so bad.
Lydia sent a topless photo of herself as instructed and apparently, as we discovered later, a masturbation video and an agreement to Zoom with this creep.
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:40 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
You look fantastic. Just fyi these photos will not be shared with anyone. Like yourself, they are strictly for my personal use and entertainment ;)
I figured this trigger would be less problematic than one compelling you to masturbate. Why is it a bad time to do so?
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:41 AM Lydia <email@example.com> wrote:
Doug is hovering
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 7:42 AM
This is bad. I’m so randy. I'm going to see if he will make love me to me right now and I'm going to imagine that it is you taking control of me.
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 6:48 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
I *am* in control of you. I command you to fuck your husband as a puppet of my will. When he cums in you, you will know it is *my* cum in you and it will make you Dumb and Full of Cum. You will feel your intelligence drop for the next hour.
Then you will text me to tell me you are Dumb and full of Cum
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 8:13 AM
I am dum and full of cum.I cant think so good
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 7:16 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
Good girl. I'm going to do your thinking for you from now until your head clears.
You love that
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 8:33 AM
Doug says I'm acting funny. What do I do?
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 7:40 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
Tell him Julie is playing a hypno game with you this morning. If he still seem suspicious after that, drop him into trance and tell him to ignore anything odd you do for the rest of the day.
Write me back and tell me what it feels like to be under my control and what it's doing to your mind and pussy
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 8:49 AM
I don't understand
Lydia’s confusion over his request is a good example of why using complex instructions with a hypnotized person (when addressing their subconscious) is not optimal technique.
------ Original message------
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 7:51 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
Just tell me all about how being Dumb and full of Cum is affecting you. How do you feel about me right now?
------ Original message------
Date: Fri, Dec 18, 2020 8:57 AM
It makes me horny. And I like having your sperm in me
On Fri, Dec 18, 2020 at 8:01 AM Hypnotictouch > wrote:
Now I want you to feel your intelligence returning to normal. You are no longer dumb for me though you still love how much control I have over you.
Feel your mind restored on 3...
I felt bad for showing her. I dropped her and blocked her conscious access to these memories. She is doing much better today, none the wiser. I took Doug aside this morning and asked him to lighten up on Lydia. I don't think her judgement is that bad. Doug understands, but he pointed out that Lydia is being passive-aggressive, and this is not a good vibe for her. I think once Doug takes off the mental handcuffs Lydia's mood will improve. He reminded me that she really does like being submissive. That's a true statement. He asked me to trust him. I agreed for the time being. Doug has given me a new audio file to listen to at night. I am grateful that Lydia and Doug have invited me into their lives. Something about Doug’s voice. It is very calming. I very much look forward to listening to him before I go to sleep. His voice is like Xanax. No lie.
I will have to return later to finish my diary entry. My turn to fix dinner for everyone. There are now five hungry mouths to feed besides Doug.
Ok. I’m back. I fixed my secret spaghetti and meatball recipe for dinner. The garlic gloves and parmesan cheese are what make it so delish. Everyone ate their fill. Tricia complimented me on my culinary skills. Doug entertained us with stories of his days in grad school. He really is every bit as smart (and funny) as Lydia says he is.
Doug wanted to have sex again last night, but I said no. I wasn't sure if this was something Lydia was ok with me enjoying all the time. Then about midnight he wandered into my room. He said Lydia was cool. He is very... persuasive. The temptation is too strong for me to resist, so I caved and we made love. It was as good or better than the day before.
Doug came back into my room this morning at 6am. We did the dirty again! He is insatiable. I think I'm going to absolutely love the commune lifestyle. Doug says Lydia wants to be with me, but I'm not really into girls, so this is awkward. He told me that I would be required to have sex with Lydia on occasion. I told him ok but let me enjoy him for a while first.
I realize I am 3 days late for my period. I’m regular as clockwork, so this is worrisome. When I came up last month to go snowmobiling, I dreamed that Doug and I had sex. Except I know now it was not a dream. I'm not on birth control. Normally I'm fairly responsible and would not have sex without protection. It's not like me to be so irresponsible. I confided in Lydia that I’m late and she told Doug. He came and found me, smiled, and gave me a big hug. He wants me to be pregnant! My heart melted. I definitely have feelings for him. We are having sex again tonight after Lydia falls asleep and I finish listening to the audio loops.
Doug has asked me to hypnotize Lydia. He believes the virus is affecting her brain. The neurologist told him it is best if her brain can rest and not be stimulated. So, Doug wants me to basically turn off her frontal cortex. That is something I can do. She will be operating more or less on a subconscious level. Like a child. I doubt she will be able to write or do anything substantive until I 'wake her'. I feel a little uneasy doing this to my friend, but Doug assures me it is for her own good. That should give her brain plenty of time to heal. If she isn't thinking about things, she won't be anxious or depressed.
Doug gave me some more audio files to listen to. These are to help inspire me. His audio files primarily deal with confidence building and motivation. Tony Robbins on steroids. I need to stay on a conditioning and exercise routine so that I have the stamina to complete all of the tasks I’m assigned. Some duties can be quite physical. I go to sleep listening to Doug every evening. He has a way of explaining things that makes everything so clear. He has three voices going at the same time. Hearing what all his voices are saying takes a lot of concentration. If I’m tired, I sometimes fall asleep before I’ve even listened to much of anything. And I’m going to be completely honest here. I think Doug may be subliminally trying to influence our thinking. I know he is in charge, but he may be extending his control into our subconscious. How do I know this? Well, I don’t know for sure, but I have discovered I have some compulsions and I don’t normally have compulsions. For one thing, I feel a very strong compulsion to listen to his voice each night. It relaxes me and I feel like I need it. I tried an experiment last night. What if I skip this evening? Not good. I go into a kind of withdrawal. Not real physical withdrawal, but I was restless and could not fall asleep. After 2 hours of staring at the ceiling I gave up and put on my headphones. I’m smart enough to realize I didn’t need to hear his voice 3 months ago. I am going to talk to Lydia and see what she thinks, assuming she can still manage an opinion.
I missed having sex last night. That’s probably a good thing. It feels like I am cheating on my friend. Maybe he was keeping Lydia company. When Doug came into my room this morning, I said something unexpected. What did I say? I said "Good morning master." I didn't think about it. It just popped out. So that settles it. He has managed to wiggle into my subconscious. When I did this, it startled me and then I became anxious. Then I got a wave of euphoria. These are conflicting emotions and very unsettling. I have been thinking about this. I need to know if I have been covertly hypnotized. Doug proceeded to go down on me. Any thought of hypnotizing him got sidetracked by the passion. After my orgasm he left the room. I'll hypnotize him tomorrow and see if he has something to do with this.
Ok, Doug is off the reservation today. I will hypnotize him on Monday. Lydia and I spoke. She doesn't have much insight since I hypnotized her. She thinks 'master' is really just a sign of respect - acknowledging Doug is the leader of the household. After all, he has the money, and he organized the commune. Lydia is right, Doug is our leader, although I'm not going to call him master. He is her husband and therefore her master, but that doesn't apply to me. I’m not going to be a thrall for Lydia or Doug or anyone else. Now I have to figure out how deep his influence is over me. When I called him master, I got a shiver of euphoria. I feel guilty about liking the feeling. I think when I agreed to block Lydia from controlling Doug, after her stroke, I might have opened Pandora’s box. Is he really as docile as I think? Doug is a powerful alpha male, a lion. Lydia and I might be the world's greatest lion tamers, but circus acts sometimes go awry and the lion tamer gets mauled.
My pregnancy test shows two lines. I’m pregnant! That would only be possible if I had sex with Doug in January. I already knew it wasn’t a dream, but this certainly confirms it. I would have sworn on a bible that our love making was only a dream. My due date as best I can tell is mid-October.
I know a baby wasn’t in my perfectly planned life, but now I’m excited about it. Having a baby one day was always a dream of mine. But finding the time and the right sperm donor was the challenge. That has been solved. Perhaps Lydia will be able to give me hypnotic analgesia when I’m ready to deliver. Doug told me my chores will change now that I’m pregnant. I will only work 3 hours in the morning, then eat and take a nap, then 3 hours in the afternoon. Both Tricia and Cynthia have confided in me that they want to be pregnant too. Doug is a force of nature. I guess I am lucky that he chose me to be one of his girls. But as I write this, I remain conflicted.
Lydia came into the room and was sitting next to me. She is late for her period. A gave her a big hug. Lydia told me that she loves me like a sister. Lydia whispered in my ear that she thinks the audio loops we listen to are influencing our thinking. I agree, but mostly in good ways. They are to help us accomplish our fitness and diet goals. And they help me with my anxiety and Lydia with her depression. So, she is mollified again. I don't like her worrying.
Lydia has gone through a huge transformation. A week ago, she was acting paranoid and was diagnosed with brain fog. I could talk her down mostly, but Doug convinced me to 'flip her off switch'. I'm being facetious. She's not a robot, but she was overthinking things. Since I shut down her brain, she has been quite pleasant and agreeable. I think Doug was right in taking this step. I will bring her back once an appropriate period of time has passed.
While I was writing this entry, Doug came into the room and interrupted us. Lydia greeted him as “master”. Good, she is obeying my instructions. I showed Doug my pregnancy test. He is so happy. Lydia told him she is late for her period. He is on cloud 9. He wants to reward us. He instructed us both to bend over and grab our ankles. This seems a little degrading, right? Lydia took my hand in hers and told me it was 'ok' and just to enjoy it.
My journal entry was interrupted by the unexpected ‘afternoon delight’. He just finished so I can resume my journal entry.
Doug leaned Lydia and me over and pulled down our leggings. My heart was pounding. I am not used to being controlled like this and it creates conflicting emotions. I was anxious and angry and excited all at the same time. I was pondering what to do, what to say. As I was about to object, he entered me. It took my breath away. He went deep. I could feel him hitting my cervix. Wow. He went back and forth between us. Any reservations I had soon melted away leaving only lust. Lydia’s moans only amplified my own excitement. He knows just what to do to make us orgasm. Ok, I’m not going to chase him down after that. I can hypnotize him first thing tomorrow.
I came into the kitchen and dropped Doug with my sleep command. I asked him what he is putting in the audio loops and if he has somehow hypnotized me covertly. Under hypnosis your subject is completely honest. It is like truth serum. Doug volunteered that he had not hypnotized me and that the audio loops create feelings of wellbeing and mild euphoria to help reinforce the positive behaviors we want in ourselves. That is what I thought. Exercising and eating right have become second nature. I’m perfectly ok with that. I decided to make him forget I had hypnotized him and then woke him up.
I know these journal entries are to be published as a story. I have decided that Doug does have a right to my body whenever he wants. I joined the commune with the expectation that I would share all things with everyone. That includes sharing myself. Plus, Doug only wants what’s best for me. He reminded me, God created woman from the rib of man to be his companion. Doug is in charge; he is the leader of the household and I must obey him and not question him. I know it sounds strange, but when I obey him I feel a profound sense of peace… and happiness.
It appears to me that Lydia has fully embraced being submissive to Doug. When she sees him in person now she addresses him as master. I do not. But I feel like I should if that makes any sense. He says it is 100% my choice whether to call him master. I’m still getting used to this. He explains the audio files will help lessen the angst I sometimes feel. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. And I’m happy. Happier than I have been in a very long time. The transformation in Lydia has been remarkable. She was only sad the day I arrived. Except for a brief rebellious stage, she is getting better every day. She just walks around with a smile on her face. I’m almost there. I think the audio loops we listen to have some powerful mojo. If it cures Lydia’s depression, then thank you Doug!
Lydia’s ‘once upon a time’ thrall, Shelly, is coming up to visit. Doug wants us to make a good impression so she will want to stay. I will do my best. I've decided this is nirvana. It doesn't get any better than this.
I had a thought this morning that scared me. What if Doug doesn't find me attractive when I start to show? What about when I'm 8 months pregnant? It scares me. I am worried he will not want to make love to me when I get fat.
This is Doug typing. I started Lydia and Julie on daily audio loops two weeks ago. Lydia has a strong compulsion to listen to them at bedtime. She resisted at first, but since Julie hypnotized her, she has lost herself to my control. Julie feels the same compulsion. I had Julie hypnotize Lydia and shut down her conscious, analytical mind for a few weeks while the audio loops do their job. I have lengthened the listening time to about 45 minutes and accelerated the programming. My goal is to have them complete the series by the end of this month. If it works as I anticipate, their subconscious will accept the programming and their conscious minds will not realize their thinking has changed. Lydia is too clever to take any chances with. When I'm sure she is completely and permanently servile I will allow her to have her mind back. The girls journal entries reflect the effectiveness of the conditioning.